The 100 Day Project; Day 7 Of Writing

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



There is no greater happiness 
than to be able to look on a life
 usefully and virtuously employed:
 to trace our own purposes in existence
 by such tokens that excite neither shame 
nor sorrow.
—Dr. Johnson.

Starting a YouTube Channel was quite a challenge for me. In fact, I'm not exactly sure why I did it in the first place. I've never been good at public speaking of any kind. In fact, I hated it! My love has always been writing, not speaking. Talk about being out of my comfort zone!

To say that I struggled with have been an understatement. My lighting was horrible! I would try different angles, different spots in my entire apartment just to get that right lighting. It makes a huge difference if it is morning, afternoon or night. It makes a huge difference if it is cloudy or too sunny. Everything has to be taken into account when making a video. I still haven't mastered making a video in the evening. I ended up buying two lamps that are a clip on instead of an actual stand. This way I can attach them anywhere to get that right lighting effect. I still have a long way to go in that department, but at least, it is much better than what it was in the beginning. 

That was one obstacle and another came to the surface. Speaking into the camera. It looks so easy, but it isn't. I would literally practice every moment in my head over and over again while I was at work or at the store or cleaning the apartment. I would dream at night these videos, repeating the same words over and over. Even when I would film, it would take several clips for me to get through it. 

When I finally became comfortable making these videos, I realized I had to learn how to market and sell myself to the YouTube Subscribers. Lord, how do I do that? Another lesson, another struggle. Being on YouTube certainly hasn't been easy at all. Before when I would watch and only be a subscriber to someone's channel, I thought it looked so easy. Now I know better. 

There is so much for me to learn, but I really want to succeed in this new, yet difficult venture. We need to stretch ourselves so we can become better in life. Learning is something that we never really outgrow. There is so much out there, so much knowledge just waiting for someone to grab it. Learn it and spread it. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 6 Of Writing

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 


Oh, ask not thou, How shall I bear
    The burden of to-morrow?
  Sufficient for to-day, its care,
    Its evil and its sorrow;
  God imparteth by the way
  Strength sufficient for the day.
J. E. SAXBY.

I exhaled deeply as a sign of pure relief, walking out of the U.P.S. store. I did it! We did it! We finally cancelled that darn cable for good. What a money pit that was! The receipt in my hand for the receivers, I smiled and lifted my face upwards towards the sky. I could feel the Sun's rays upon my face. It was a lie though, because it still was a chilly Spring morning. 

Becoming debt free has been a goal that Emily and I both have set for ourselves this year. It is not easy, believe me. To achieve this, one has to be ready to make sacrifices. These sacrifices may include living in a not so nice apartment, giving up eating out regularly and things like cable. It is well worth it to us.

There are still many other places we can improve on spending. Just in the everyday expenditures alone, we could be making better decisions. I guess we did not go cold turkey completely. We are spoiled in certain ways like eating good food, internet and our extracurricular activities like my yarn. 

We are getting better all the time in regards to money. Once, our Pastor made a remark that we learn about money in two ways. 1. We learned from our parents. 2. We learned from the school of hard knocks. I learned from number two, but I'm hoping that my daughter will learn from number one. 

I think we spend way too much on things we don't even use on a regular basis. We all live in clutter, don't we? Every drawer, every closet or every space available is full of stuff. Cutting back is something we all could improve on.

Have a blessed day everyone

The 100 Day Project: Day 5 Of Writing

                                                   Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Oh, empty us of self, the world, and sin,
  And then in all Thy fulness enter in;
  Take full possession, Lord, and let each thought
  Into obedience unto Thee be brought;
  Thine is the power, and Thine the will, that we
  Be wholly sanctified, O Lord, to Thee.
C. E. J.

I remember my first remission. In fact, my cancer diagnosis anniversary is fast approaching. It will be twelve years and everyday since then seems as if it happened yesterday. I've never been good at remembering events from my childhood and up. I feel as if I lose memories as I age, but not this. This, I can remember every detail. 

That first remission was amazing. I have yet to repeat the kind of feeling or emotion that I have experienced. It was pure joy. That's what I am missing now in my journey . . . the joy of the journey. 

There wasn't a family gathering that I didn't go to or an outing with a friend. Life was good, I was happy to be alive and I was very social. So what happened? I became busy. 

Well, I need to change some of those things. In about a month, Emily and I plan on getting away for a couple of days. Just the two of us with plans of doing nothing special just relaxing and taking in the sights. I cannot tell you how excited I have been over this little vacay of ours. I keep making lists of all the things I want to bring, the foods we will eat and the sights we will see. It's all there in my mind. 

It's funny, it certainly doesn't take much to get us excited, does it? A little trip. A couple of days away from everyone and everything. It changes everything.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 4 Of Writing

                                                    Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



In the hour of distress and misery
 the eye of every mortal turns to friendship;
in the hour of gladness and conviviality, 
what is your want? It is friendship. 
When the heart overflows with gratitude or
 with other sweet and sacred sentiment, 
what is the word to which it would give utterance? 
A friend.

—Walter Savage Landor

The rain finally came, slowly and not in a rapid downpour. We've been in a heavy cloudy state for days now. Yesterday, early morning, there was so much fog it was dangerous to drive normally in. One could feel the moisture hanging in the air ready to come down in a sudden and violent storm, but it didn't. Just a bunch of drizzling on and off all day long. 

I was in the kitchen putting away supplies in the newly organized pantry, when Emily called out to me. 

Mom, there is a woman outside screaming for someone to call 911. 

Yes, I think everyone heard her screaming as her husband/boyfriend was obviously hitting her. The baby crying in the background. She was screaming for him not to touch her. He snatched her phone away from her. All this was heard by everyone. Of course, we immediately called the Police and they came out right away, all four squad cars.

Unfortunately, I am very familiar with the scene above and so are many women out there. There are two things that my heart goes out to: Single moms and abused women. Any kind of bullying sets me off into a rage. I can spot an aggressive male a mile away just by the way he handles himself and by how he speaks. Trust me when I say, been there and done that. 

I already know what happened up there, just like I know that she told those Police Officers she was fine. I can also tell you that he probably hit her again just because the Police did come by. Even if they took him in, he would come back in the morning and beat her up even more. The only thing she can do is leave for good. Again, been there and done that.

This incident was a great teaching opportunity for Emily. Not only as a learning experience on how to call for help, but also the importance of not putting up with someone's abusive behavior towards her and others. When is enough enough? This is a conversation that every mother needs to have with her daughter. This is not acceptable and no one should have to put up with it. We have to teach the younger generation to stand up for who they are in Christ. Everyone has the right to be treated in a respected and humane manner. I am someone and I deserve to be loved. That's it. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 3 Of Writing

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I shall believe the Hand which never fails
From seeming evil worketh good for me;
And though I weep because those sails are battered,
Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered,
"I trust in Thee."

—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

When we look at all the people around us, we think how their lives seem so well put together. They seem to be doing all the right things and going in all the right directions. Their children seem perfect, their relationships intact and in fact, their entire lives look perfectly run. 

Little do we know that they have the same problems if not more, as the rest of us. They hurt. They bleed. They rejoice. They succeed and they fail. Just like the rest of us. 

We tend to look at our own life and compare it to everyone else. Somehow, our life seems lacking in our own eyes when we do that. We are constantly looking and hoping for that something else. That one thing that will change our way of life for the better. 

These past few days have been revolutionary for me. You see, I was or am one of those people that secretly wished for another type of life. I would look at where I was at right now and wish myself away to that imaginary place. I might still get there, who knows? Only God, only God. 

In the meantime, I need to live right here in this moment. I keep saying that life is what you make it, but yet, I disappear within my mind to that fantasy land. How contradictory I've become. Life is good. I need to enjoy it more and live in the moment. When was the last time I've done something for myself? Maybe a massage? A manicure? A weekend away? Maybe just a quiet morning spent reading away from all the hubbub. 

We need some sort of leisure to take away all the stress and refresh us. I know that I am always writing about de-stressing, but am I doing what I'm preaching? Only when the stress is on overload, but never on a regular basis. Taking time for ourselves without feeling guilty is something new for most of us, yet it is necessary for our well-being. Why do we find it difficult to enjoy ourselves for the sake of just having fun? Life is moving fast. Too fast in many ways. Let's not allow life to pass us by.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 2 Of Writing

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


The lives which seem so poor, so low,
    The hearts which are so cramped and dull,
  The baffled hopes, the impulse slow,
    Thou takest, touchest all, and lo!
  They blossom to the beautiful.
SUSAN COOLIDGE.

It's been a real struggle to go into work every single day. I went through the entire Winter Season without feeling blue. I fought it then, so why am I giving in so easily now? What do they call it during this Season? Oh yeah, Spring fever. I think I have Spring fever. It doesn't help that work has been sooo slow recently. I am looking for things to keep myself busy. 

The key word here is push. I'm pushing myself to get out of bed. I'm pushing myself to clean out the pantry or do laundry. I'm pushing myself to go into work and not call in a sick day. I'm just pushing myself constantly to do something. In fact, I don't want to leave my home at all. I want to stay inside and hide.

I feel like my mind is so full of clutter and it's jammed packed in there. In fact, it's so full that nothing can seep through. It's just there, stuck and unable to move in any direction. Maybe what I need is just plain good old fashioned solitude in peaceful surroundings. Haven't you ever wanted to just get into your car and drive? The destination doesn't matter, except that long winding road leading to anywhere, but here. 

It's so much easier to run away rather than stay and face whatever is lurking in the dark crevices of our life. Maybe you're just tired. I know I am. Maybe you just want to be left alone. Me too. Maybe you just want to say please pass me by. Not now. Not here. Not me.

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

Breathe . . .. just like the lyrics from Johnny Diaz song imply, just breathe. Close your eyes and inhale a deep, deep breath and exhale slowly. Can you feel the stress melt away? Just breathe. And just be.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 1 of Writing

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Between us and Thyself remove
Whatever hindrances may be,
That so our inmost heart may prove
A holy temple, meet for Thee.
LATIN MSS. OF 15TH CENTURY.

YouTube has become an everyday thing for me lately, so when I saw this 100 Day Project going around, I was intrigued. So what is it? Well, let me quote here:

What Is the 100-Day Project? It's a celebration of process that encourages everyone to participate in 100 days of making. The great surrender is the process; showing up dayafter day is the goal. For the 100-Day Project, it's not about fetishizing finished products—it's about the process. 

I have decided to participate, but in my own way, of course. We are to post on instagram our progress with photos or videos using the hashtag #100DayProject. I don't have instagram. Many people are posting videos on a daily basis of them walking, reading, crafting items and things artsy. 

I have chosen to write for 100 days solid. This will be quite a challenge for me, because lately writing everyday has been a struggle for me. I used to blog on a daily basis, never missing, because it was extremely therapeutic to my well-being. So what has happened? I don't know. There are times my mind is a total blank and no words come out. It's as if my mind is muddled up with all these things and I can't think straight. I am seeking clarity, but for what, I am not sure. 

Like all things I approach in life, I am looking forward to what will emerge from this experience. I believe that there is a lesson to be learned from every experience we indulge in whether good or bad. Maybe, just maybe, this project is what I need to get back on schedule with my writing. Today marks the first day of this awesome project. Will you join me? What will you do for your 100 Day Project?

Have a blessed day everyone.