A Reflective Rain

There are times when one can not help , but be reflective ... . . . especially on rainy days . There is something so relaxing and calming with the sound of raindrops against the windowpane . All we want to do is curl up somewhere comfy with a good book , a movie or anything of leisure to us . 

Then we begin to think . .  . . 

We think about the good things in life . We think about all our faults . We think about the things we want to accomplish . We think about the unknown future and what it may hold . 

We think and think and think . We think so much that we forget to go out and actually live out our lives . That's exactly my problem . I think too much and over analyze things to death .

Too much thinking has ruined many good moods of mine , because I think more on the negative than I do on the positive . 

Moods are not the only thing too much thinking can ruin . It can think one out of enjoying an event , time spent with loved ones . I , also am guilty of that . 

Many times , my negative thinking has talked me out of going out and enjoying my friends and their celebrations . 

Rainy days can wash away all the good or all the bad thinking depending on how we are feeling . Sometimes , it's just much better to open up that book and lose ourselves in that drama instead of creating our own in our heads .

Have a blessed day everyone . 

Defining Illness

How do we define illness ? What does a sick person look like to you ? How do you know when someone has a disease ?

I believe there is a misconception of what " sickness " looks like . We expect to see a person physically suffering who's appearance shows every ounce of pain they are experiencing . 

Nowadays , there are people walking around with a disease in their life who are working and  volunteering among us and we are not even aware of it . If you were to ask a roomful of people , how many of them have a health problem , you would see a lot of hands . 

We all have something and we're all struggling , trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle and just plain live our lives . We all could use a little help . The problem is trying to find out what kind of help people need .

In my seven years , I've had many volunteers offering to go with me for my treatment , but only two people offered to make a meal for me . Even though , it was great and generous for people to want to come with me , making a meal for me would have helped more . 

At work , I've had co-workers do various minor jobs for me when I was in pain . 

During a Sunday school lesson , a mom  offered to watch my class so I could take communion upstairs . 

My nieces sent me to a spa day and many offered to shave their heads . 

The next time you find out someone you work with , or go to Church with , a neighbor , or  a friend  has an illness , offer to do something for them that is suitable for their needs . 

The following are some suggestions from Charles Stanley on helping someone with their burden .

1. Be there. At times the best "method" of helping is simply to be present. During our darkest hours, we don't need someone who tries in vain to fix everything; we just need a friend.
2. Listen. Don't attempt to give answers or tell people what to do next. Injured souls frequently want simply a listening ear so they can express what's on their mind.
3. Share. Never parade yourself as someone who has all the answers. Instead, allow your own pain and failures to help others.
4. Pray. There is power in speaking people's names before the Lord. When they hear someone talk to Jesus on their behalf, healing often starts taking place.
5. Give. Sometimes helping others involves more than a handshake or warm hug. Maybe they need something financial or material. One of the best measures of sincerity is how much we're willing to give to others.
6. Substitute.You may know an individual who bears the burden of caring for someone else. If you step in and take his or her place for a while, you are emulating your Savior--He, too, was a substitute.

Because we were unable to do it ourselves, Jesus bore all of our sin and sorrow, even unto death. As a result, we can live happily and eternally in communion with our Father. If Christ did that for us, how can we ever say, "I'm too busy to bear someone else's burden.

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

A Book Shelf

One of my favorite Disney Princess has always been Bella from Beauty and The Beast . There is a scene where the Beast shows her the library and her face says it all . That's how I feel about books . 

I remember when my love of reading took root in my life . It began in high school in literature class where we had to keep a journal and read a certain amount of books each month as part of the homework .

  The first book I read was Sherlock Holmes and I feel that's where my love of mysteries began . From that moment on , I read everything  from Harlequin romances , to poetry , to thrillers . 

Since then , some of those tastes have remained and others have been replaced by more intellectual documentaries  , spiritual warfare and self-help editions . My love of books has never strayed and every time I see an IPAD I cringe . I want to feel the book in my hands as I turn the 
pages . 

When we moved into this apartment , many of our books had to be given away for lack of room . I still regret that and wish we could have kept   them . It has always been my dream to have a library like Bella's .

It makes no difference where I'm living , I love my home . I love being surrounded by the things that represent who we are . My home may not be equal in luxuries to others , but it's comfy and perfect for me . 

Right now , we have one book shelf crammed with books , but I know when we move to our dream place , I'll have more . -For now , I'm happy to dream of a wall lined with book shelves .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

May Update

The arrival of  rainy weather has brought on more sleepless nights this month than I care to have . The aftermaths of chemo treatments resulting in early arthritis in my left leg , from knee to toe , causing a lot of tossing and turning in the night . I'm feeling all of my forty-nine years in all the wrong places .

Still , after such a long and very cold winter , this warm weather is a blessing to enjoy , regardless of the discomfort I may experience . I'm thoroughly loving the open window concept and hope it can continue as long as possible before the real heat of summer
 arrives . 

The rain has not been the only storm , since the sirens from police , fire and ambulances has become a frequent sound in my neighborhood . More so now , it seems , then from years past . A few of them to our building concerning our fellow neighbors . 

All of this commotion has brought on a desire in me to pray randomly for strangers that I encounter . This can be a stranded driver with a broken down vehicle or for an ambulance passing by . 

That feeling could be more from the fact that there is nothing going on in our lives , but neutral , calm waters . All the action seems to be taking place with everyone else .

 Friends are moving , some into their first home and some far , far away into a new cultural lifestyle . New additions are coming , some by birth and some by marriage . One even lost her job . 

Yet by us , there hasn't really been any change . We get up , we work , we go to bed . Our life has been very neutral this month and we are grateful for it . Sometimes no news is good news .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Throwback Thursday

It seems that in the three times I've dealt with my cancer's return , I have had a meltdown of some sort . The following is an example of one of those times .

Now I actually have to smile and laugh , because at that time I really thought that it was the worst treatment ever . Little did I know that an even worse one was coming the following year . It just shows you that we really can handle more than we think .

The title " My Christian Hat " , Emily and I , use quite a lot to express our need to vent or tell someone off . Beware ! Our Christian Hat is coming off ! You will hear it often here ,( hahaha ) . Have a Blessed  day everyone .

My Christian Hat

  Today is just not the day. After spending yet another sleepless night in the bathroom every 15 minutes ....I
    ......HAVE ..........HAD.........IT ! Today I'm just plain angry , tired of it all . Enough is enough. I want relief.Everyone better just stay away.
  I drive Emily to work with all these emotions churning inside me.Yesterday , I wrote about brotherly love and today I just want to fight with everyone.How messed up is that? Dropping her off I look around for that delivery man.....better leave me alone today.
   I'm whining......
I have spent the night in the bathroom every 15 minutes.I have burped more than the prenatal unit  at Lutheran Hospital.Drank more water than a whale.Than I had the NERVE to go around boasting to people how I haven't had nausea at all ........really? Until now.That should teach me to just plain shut up.I'm bloated, ankles are swollen,hands and feet are tingling and numb......like when your leg goes to sleep  and you try to move.....AND you think I ate a whole barrel of beans.Can't even enjoy my food.There is an aftertaste of metal in my mouth.My stomache is upset.You think with all of this I would LOSE weight.No, no,no,Lottie has to GAIN weight.
  To make matters worse, I glance at the calendar and realize it has only been a week since the chemo.Only a week........it seems like a lifetime.It has been a very,very long week. I have , At least , 5 long months more of this.Oh goodie.
  I think back to my title ,"Enjoying The Journey ".I really don't know where the title came from.I just started typing and it appeared.Are you enjoying it yet ,Lottie?
   After this emotional outburst I realize I need to just stay in ...lock the doors and not answer the phone.My Christian  hat has been teethering ......TEETHERING.For the safety of others , I recline to the armchair with Emily on the sofa..Both of us wearing the latest fashion in mixmatched wouldn't be caught dead in lounge wear.
   Emily pops a French movie  in with subtitles  and I feel a tug on my crocheting hook......its Diamond , the cat, having a ball with the yarn rolling around playing.This is not bad.This is kind of nice.
   Glance down at my big feet and a big smile appears.........just realized something........I won't have to pluck anything or shave anything for months. : )

A Well-Lit Path

There are times when God's plan isn't always crystal clear . . . . but His path is always well lit .

When I began my spiritual renewal a few months ago , I was completely naive . I expected an immediate change and of course , that didn't 
happen . Change can occur suddenly or it can take a matter of time . 

Lately , I have been feeling neutral , watching people go through things in their lives , some good and some not good . The changes are crystal clear . It makes no difference on what is going on , the fact is , things are happening . 

Emily and I have been waiting . . . for what , we're not really sure . Our lives have taken on a neutral status . We're neither up , nor are we down . . . . we're just waiting . 

Still , our path is the same  and we intend to remain on it . We have made a covenant with Jesus and there's no breaking that ! Things may be a little difficult with taking too long  or things are not going the way we want them to be , but we will wait on the Lord . 

Our faith does not waiver . We are followers of Jesus Christ and His path is the only path . It will lead us on our next journey as long as we stay on it . 

So for now , we watch as our friends move on their own journeys with happiness for them . We support and aid them in any way we can . We know that when our turn comes , they will do the same for us .

Have a Blessed day everyone and stay faithful . 

Sterotyped

For as long as I have had cancer , the way it has been  portrayed on television always makes me smile . It usually begins this way :

The victim sits in a recliner with an afghan  covering their legs . Their faces are drawn into a frown , their skin pale and without makeup .  Sometimes a shawl is covering their shoulders and almost definitely a scarf on their head . At home , they are throwing up in the bathroom repeatedly and there is always a friend who buys them a joint to smoke for the pain . 

That's basically an old version of a cancer patient . Yes , we are bald . Yes , we sit in a recliner as we receive treatment . That's when the similarities end .  For the most part , we lead or at least , try to lead normal lives .

If we look sickly , pale and are throwing up , we are seriously sick . Treatment has come a long way and with the use of steroids , we can hold our cookies well .

Unfortunately , there has been a cancer invasion . We either know someone with cancer or we have cancer ourselves . It is no longer a distant , hidden away illness that is spoken in hushed voices . 

I cannot tell you how many times  women have approached me with various questions when they learned I have ovarian cancer .
People have become aware of cancer more than ever before . They want to know about it all they can .  

Please don't misunderstand me that I'm making light of a very serious disease . There are many people who have a tremendously hard time with acceptance . The treatments are no laughing matter nor are there any easy side effects . Chemo is chemo , anyway you look at it . 

The point I am trying to make is that we no longer play victim to cancer . We try to lead normal lives as much as we can . We continue to work , play and go on living . That's the best remedy that I can prescribe . 

It would be nice to see the entertainment industry  portray us more in that light than in their version . It's not the end , until it's really the end . Have a Blessed day everyone .