30 Days Of More: The Introduction

                        Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

A man's concern is only whether
 in doing anything he is doing right 
or wrong—
acting the part of a good man or a bad.
—Plato.

Through my entire cancer journey, God has shown me what He wanted. I once read that we undergo a major change in our lives every ten years. I believe it is true not just for us as individuals, but also as a culture, as a world, affecting every other aspect touching our lives. There is a fundamental shift or change that alters how we see, feel and experience universal growth. Take a look at technology and how it has grown over the last several decades. Then take a look at how it has affected our lives in our careers, families and as a society. Many good things came from it, but also there have been some significant not so good changes that have resulted in long term consequences we have yet to experience. Most likely we will see the effects of it in the next generation.

We are now entering a brand new decade and I cannot help, but wonder what it will bring to my family, my children and myself. Many people out there are predicting that this next decade will be about the more in our life. More money, more materialism, more technology, more discovery, more change. The list is endless at what and how it can affect us.

The more I think about it, the more I am concerned and intrigued at how it may affect me. The uncertainty of the future may hold it's excitement and thrill, but there is the darker side, too. What is lurking around that corner? Will it be something beneficial for me? Or will it be a major hurdle?

As many of you know, the last decade has ended for me in uncertainty. What I have known and become accustomed to has abruptly been pulled under me, leaving me feeling a bit lost. As I struggle to come to terms with the realization of all the conflicting emotions inside of me, I need to dig deep and discover what is causing all this turmoil. Why am I feeling this way? What is bringing about all this stress and anxiety? Why am I so apprehensive of this next decade?

The last time I wrote for 30 days, a change occurred inside of me as I was awakened to a life of simplicity. I discovered a person I wanted to be and the life I wanted to live. I hope the same will take place here on these pages. Writing has been such a wonderful therapeutic release for me and all of you have been my therapists reading every word. You have been there as each layer has been carefully peeled away. Sometimes, it was a perfect and easy peel, all done in one long piece. Another, so many broken ones that brought tears and we wept.

 God has always played a major role in my life and frankly, I cannot imagine Him not being there for me. He knew who I was on the inside and who I could become if I just trusted Him. So I am going to trust Him once again. Let's see what will emerge.

Have a blessed day everyone.

The City Fox

                                         Everyday is a brand new day,
                                           everyday is a journey.





I praise Thee while my days go on;
  I love Thee while my days go on:
  Through dark and dearth, through fire and frost,
  With emptied arms and treasure lost,
  I thank Thee while my days go on.
E. B. BROWNING

While dropping off a co-worker, we came across a fox lurking around her condo. It may sound like nothing to majority of you to have seen a fox, but when ones lives in a city, it's pure joy. Such a beautiful creature living in such a concrete place. Has the poor thing felt out of place here? Or has he adjusted as if this was the only thing he ever knew. I doubt if he had a choice in the matter.

Many of us are just like that fox, living where we are at, because this is all we know. I truly believe we do what we know, usually mimicking our parent's routines. I know when I began this journey I never ever expected to be doing what I do now. Who even knew that I was capable of any of this? Apparently God did know and He pulled all of it out of me.

I have many friends who are bold individuals or at least in my eyes. They have uprooted their families and moved away far away from anyone they know so they could start over again. A new place. A new beginning. A new way of life. Were they scared, I wonder? Did they ever feel overwhelmed by the weight of their decision? Every single one of these individuals claim they would do it again.

My own parents did the same. They took all of us and went across the Atlantic ocean to a Country where they didn't even speak the language. Bold individuals. Were they scared? Did they feel overwhelmed?

I'm sure they were, but the boldness inside of them was stronger, stronger than the fear.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Just Share It: The Weaver

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Breathes there the man with soul so dead
Who never to himself hath said,
This is my own, my native land!
Whose heart hath ne'er within him burned
As home his footsteps he hath turned
From wandering on a foreign strand?

—Sir Walter Scott

I have first developed a love for poetry in the Freshman year of High School. We had to compile a whole series of poems and illustrate them appropriately. I enjoyed every minute and I received an A+ for it, too. I don't have a favorite, which is kind of weird, because everyone else does. I guess that maybe it could be, because I love diversity. There are numerous poems out there for everyone, but I look for what the poem conveys to me. The Weaver speaks to me, because it is a relationship that I want to achieve with my Lord and Savior. I hope you enjoy. 

The Weaver

Author Unknown

My life is but a weaving

Between my Lord and me.

I cannot choose the colors

As He weaveth steadily.

Sometimes He chooses dark threads

And I in foolish pride,

Forget He sees the upper

And I the under side.

Not till the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly,

Will God unroll the canvass

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver's skillful hand,

As the threads of Gold and Silver,

In the pattern He has planned.

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Good Night's Sleep

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey


Only he who lives in truth finds it. 
The deepest truth is not born of conscious striving,
 but comes in the quiet hour when a noble nature gives
 itself into the keeping of life, 
to suffer, to feel, to think,
 and to act as it is moved by a wisdom not its own.
—Hamilton Mabie.


I awakened from a deep sleep, feeling rested and refreshed. It is very easy to sleep here. It's so quiet, no street noise or any kind of noise at all. This silence only occurs in the morning when the tenants have either left for work or finally settled in after the partying.

Last night, I came home from work totally exhausted, barely keeping my eyes open. It has been raining regularly for the month of April and my body could not keep up any longer. I slept so very soundly as if depraved and hungry for the release it so badly needed. 

There is something about the rain where it demands a total release whatever that release may be for you. It will cleanse one way or another. When I was younger, I loved to walk after a storm. Everything looked so clean, green and alive. Flowers and plants could have been drooping from the heat, but after the rain, they stood to attention. Amazing what the living water can do for one.

My only wish is that I don't have a lovely picture window to look out from so I could see the effects of the rain as they happen. Funny, the things one misses when they are no longer available. What do you miss? I seem to miss such small things of absolutely no significance to anyone, but me. A picture window. A good cup of coffee. A foot rub. A peaceful afternoon with a good book.

For now, allow me to bask in the good feeling that has embraced me. These moments are so short lived, so fleeting one must appreciate them and hold onto them for as long as one can. Here's to your morning. Here's to your moment.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A Healthy Eating Update

                                    Everyday is a brand new day,
                                      everyday is a journey.

A Servant, with this clause,
Makes drudgery divine:
Who sweeps a room, as for Thy laws,
Makes that and th' action fine.
G. HERBERT.

Emily and I have been chatting just the other day about our healthy lifestyle choices. It has been quite a few weeks since we gave up junk food entirely. Or I should say that I have given up the junk full force. I don't miss it at all. That is huge, because I could not say no to chips, sweets or any kind of food that was offered to me.

I still cannot believe how well I am feeling and enjoying my healthy snacks. 

I cannot tell you how displeased I have been not only with my current health insurance, but this new team of oncologists. I miss my doctor terribly and the comfort of her always having time for me. I have been so spoiled by her and her team. You don't realize just how much until they are gone. 

At my last visit in October of 2019, I took some lab tests to determine my CA125 levels and my thyroid levels. No call with the results, nothing and here we are in April already. I don't even feel as I matter.

It seems we always start off with good intentions. We make a plan, we begin the plan and the plan runs well for about a week or two. Then we slide off the plan, just a little bit at first and then it becomes a habit. The plan has failed.

For some of us, eating healthy doesn't take much effort. We give up soda and we see immediate results. For others like myself, everything has to change and one can never falter, not even for a day or we quickly go back to our old ways. 

Don't get me wrong here, I still struggle, but my effort involves more than the occasional 50% of work on my part. I may have an occasional snack, but I will spend more time exercising that evening. It's an even exchange and I don't feel as if I am failing all the time. For me, it will always be a work in progress just as everything else. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Being Comfortable With Uncertainty

                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Four things come not back—
the spoken word, the sped arrow, 
the past life, the neglected opportunity.
—William Hazlitt.

Being comfortable with uncertainty. I stared at that sentence for a long time. I thought about that sentence everywhere I went. How does one become comfortable with uncertainty? How does one go about changing one's whole personality in one big gulp? It involved faith and trust, I knew that much.

Isn't that how we feel about Christ? We never met Him or spoke to Him, but yet we believe in Him. Why can't we take that same method, that same belief system and become comfortable with uncertainty? Well, than we first have to define what that uncertainty looks like. Maybe your uncertainty looks different than mine. We can't judge each others ability levels to do anything if we all have a different view of uncertainty.

So what is your uncertainty?

For some it could mean being alone in life. To others it could mean never being a parent. Or someone like me, it could mean their health. I've been working on that for the last couple of months. I've looked to my past and what helped me get through the muddled times. I became still and I let go so I could be led to where I needed to be. 

I've immersed myself in my journaling. It all began so innocently, just a daily log of my activities. Then one night while I binge watched all these channels, one after another, people poured out their hardships. I wrote prayer after prayer in that journal for each of them. Then a co-worker asked me to pray for them and then another. Suddenly, my daily log turned into a prayer journal. 

Here we are, several months later and I've realized how much calmer I am with that uncertainty I was facing. I was so busy praying for others that I never gave my own fears a moment of my own time. I focused on something other than what I was going through and I'm on my way to overcoming it!

I worry about it less and less. My plan is to keep moving doing what I need to do. No looking back to things that I cannot control. Life keeps moving no difference if I'm here living it or not. Might as well join it.

Have a blessed day everyone.  

When Scheduling Goes Awry

                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.     




Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,
  As the swift seasons roll!
  Leave thy low-vaulted past!
  Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
  Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
  Till thou at length art free,
  Leaving thine outgrown shell by life's unresting sea!
O. W. HOLMES.


I have written about time management and organization for what seems like forever. I think deep down inside I really want to find that perfect fit for me. I think we all do. The problem is that our schedules change all the time. Just when we get the hang of it, Bam! Time for a change. Something new has come up.

Time, scheduling, organization . . . . all of these are my nemesis. If I could combat these my life would run like clockwork, but then how dull it would be! I can laugh now, because I no longer even bother with trying to make my life perfect. I do what I can when I can.

We spend so much money for that perfect planner, book or organizing trick that will make our life run smoothly. There are way too many expert people out there that claim this can happen in 5 easy steps. Maybe a couple more, depending on the book, I guess.

I don't know about you, but whatever I organized when my children were small only stayed that way for a day or two. Then we were back to square one. Social media always likes to remind the average parent that they can do it all just like the Brady Bunch or The Modern Family. The mom is perfectly dressed, the perfect cook, runs the family, works and has time to volunteer a batch of chocolate chip cookies for school the next day . . . for every child. Not!

Here I am without any small children to take care of or a home to run or even married, yet scheduling gets away from me. It seems it hasn't gotten any better with age! Something else I have noticed, it also doesn't seem to bother me as much as it did. I think I've finally realized that we can only do what we can when we can. Things just fall into place . . . eventually.

Have a blessed day everyone.