Some Things Never Change

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing:
Our helper he amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great:
And, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
--Martin Luther.

Our cat Diamond, lay curled up into a ball on a well-cushioned armchair. She looked so darn cute and comfortable, all tucked into a blanket, sleeping the afternoon away. She obviously feels very at home and completely loved. Don't you wish you could do the same?

It will never cease to amaze me how swiftly time flies away from us. Didn't we just change our clocks back and now we are changing them forward. Time surely flies, yet some things never change.

We all have a friend whose life is headed downward, spiraling out of control. They think they're living the high life, but we know it's all just pretend.  It's a lie they keep telling themselves so they can feel better about themselves and the choices they have made. They're not happy, but that's all they know, so they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. 

This may sound like I'm being judgmental, but nothing could be farther from the truth. At one time, I was that friend who  lost all control of my life and made horrible choices I now deeply regret. Sometimes, we really have to hit bottom where we're so darn sick of everything and it seems there is no end out of this dark tunnel. Sometimes, we have to go through these things, horrible things that leave us feeling unloved so we can finally move forward into the light. 

So I ask you, what will it take for that friend to let go of the past and make that step forward to live the kind of life that is idyllic inside of our minds?  The kind of life that Diamond seems to be living, peaceful, rested and full of love. What will it take for them to forgive themselves and make that choice? 

It is so frustrating to watch from the sidelines as they sink deeper and deeper into what they call "the high life" and "let's turn it up" lifestyle. When it's all said and done, when the party is over, you're still the same you. All alone and miserable with a massive headache, hating yourself even more than you did the night before. 

Time will continue to move forward whether we run along side of it or not. Pretty soon, we will be changing the clocks back, but where will you be? Will you still be back in that same place that you seem to favor and cling to? Or will you be lounging next to Diamond, living out your idyllic dream? Some things might never change, but thank goodness we have a loving God who never gives up on us. He takes us, dirty and miserable, turning us into the best we can be. The choice is yours.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Uncertainty

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time--

Footprints that perhaps another,

Sailing o'er life's wintry main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

--Henry W. Longfellow

Should we have an "Apartment Warming" party? 

Emily sat on my bed, as she does every morning, as we discuss any day events or play catch up. The question hung in the air full of unspoken tension. Tension, because of what it would mean to do so. We came here for a reason, not because we wanted to make an upgrade. Besides, it is very well known our views on diversity and many people are not on the same wavelength on that subject. 

What does our world look like? Well, we like diversity. We are not cookie cutter people. We don't care to live in a community where everyone looks the same, living in the same type of house. One place looks pretty much like the rest. There is nothing to distinguish one family from the next. That is not us. Which is fine, because we all are different and need to be accepted for who we are and what we represent. 

Our neighborhood looks more like International Waters than anything else. There are numerous nationalities here. . . . numerous. Sadly, not everyone can be comfortable with that.

I once had a woman ask me why are we always volunteering and delivering (our Ministry) to the bad neighborhoods of Chicago?  Why can't we go somewhere closer to home? My reply? Well, that's where the poor people are. That's where the homeless reside.

We as a society, as a people, we are very judgmental. All of us. Myself included. We judge others no matter how much we may try to deny it. It's true that some of us are more than others, but we're all guilty. We judge others on their appearance, their home, their children, their behavior, their work ethic. We judge. Most of all, we like to judge others on how much they judge. 

Our world is certainly changing quickly. It seems I'm always defending my Faith, my lifestyle, my ethics. Everything is on the defense lately. Even in my own home. Do I want to expose myself to that kind of scrutiny? Not at this moment. So for now, whoever comes over, comes over, but no parties yet. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

Friends Gone Past

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a brand new day.



Build a little fence of trust
    Around to-day;
  Fill the space with loving work,
    And therein stay;
  Look not through the sheltering bars
    Upon to-morrow,
  God will help thee bear what comes,
    Of joy or sorrow.
Anon

What a beautiful poem and so very true. I have been feeling melancholy this morning thinking of all past relationships that have dispersed for one reason or another. People come into our lives unexpectedly and just as quickly leave. We become attached and sadness fills our hearts when they leave for whatever reason. 

I really miss my long gone past friends. I miss the comforting smile that Linda always had just for me. You see, Linda loved me and it showed in every fiber of her being. Have you ever felt such love from a friend? I have from Linda. 

It's easy to miss friends that have died or left in a good way, but what about the ones where discord caused our breakup? We all had these relationships that have ended sadly. Relationships that broke without any reason or explanation. Suddenly, they just didn't work anymore. 

There is nothing worse than that friendship that ended over something so silly one cannot even remember. One of my girlfriends will tell you that these people were never truly your friends. True friends don't become upset over silly mundane things. These friends are secretly harboring something against you from the beginning. 

I've been thinking about what she said. We want to believe of ourselves that we are ordinary. We have nothing that others could possibly want, desire or envy. That's how we see ourselves, but the grass always seems greener by the neighbors' next door. The neighbors themselves think our flowers bloom more beautiful than theirs. It's a vicious circle we call human nature.

Maybe my girlfriend has a good point here. Maybe past relationships did have something about me they didn't like, but continued on being my friend. Maybe I was more of a casual friend to them. We all have different degrees of what a friendship is to us. They were more to me than I was to them. 

Today I mourned these past relationships. No matter if these people come back into our lives once again, it will never be what we thought it was back then. Then again, it truly never was then either.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Seeing The Oncologist

                                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                                             everyday is a journey.



How like a mounting devil in the heart
Rules the unreigned ambition! 
Let it once
But play the monarch, and its haughty brow
Glows with a beauty that bewilders thought
And unthrones peace forever. 
Putting on
The very pomp of Lucifer, 
it turnsThe heart to ashes.

--Nathaniel P. Willis.

I did not want to go for my appointment with my oncologist. I wasn't afraid of what I may hear or anything like that. I'm just exhausted mentally by anyone from the medical profession. Don't get me wrong, I love my doctors. . . . all of them. I'm just worn out from almost ten years of this illness. I really would love some peace from it all. A few years peace to exist like everyone else. 

At first, I made an appointment and ended up rescheduling when the actual day arrived. Not very smart, I know, I just didn't want to drive all that way. I still don't. Moving out here, I have no desire to go into the major city of Chicago. Crazy, right?

Still, I didn't get away scot free. My Oncologist called me, checking up on me. We had a wonderful chat where she re-assured one of my greatest fears. No more radiation for me. I guess one can only have itr once. because of the damage it does to your bowels. Well, thank goodness for that! Some good news after all.


I'm always amazed at all the changes at the clinic. It could be three or more months since my last visit, yet there is always something new. There is always a new staff member or they were moved elsewhere. I never recognize anyone in the waiting room. I often wonder if they think the same of me when they see me. 

I was spared a few things this time around. I didn't have to have labs and I didn't have to speak with an Intern first. I never cared to do that even though I know the importance of it. So far everything seems okay, we'll check again in May. A very nice visit, more of a catchup rather than an actual doctor visit. 

I have to admit, that the drive out there was a bit much in the morning. It must have been, because of morning rush hour. I sat in the "express lane" occassionally moving 3 miles per hour. I don't know how people can take this every single day. Horrible. Just horrible. The drive home was the opposite. 

Overall, everything went well. Let's just keep it that way for now. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Heartfelt Blessing

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey. 



The little worries which we meet each day
  May lie as stumbling-blocks across our way,
  Or we may make them stepping-stones to be
    Of grace, O Lord, to Thee.
A. E. HAMILITON.

It may seem crazy to all of you, but I truly was happy the other day when I saw snow falling. I longed for it and I have missed it. For a minute there, I didn't think we would have anymore snow this Season. I think my age is really showing. I am becoming extremely sentimental. I miss a snowy Winter.

Of course, the snow didn't last at all. It came down in a frantic frenzy and quit just as suddenly. I have been really disappointed in this Winter. One day it's 60 degrees and the next drops to 30 again. One doesn't have any idea on how to dress anymore. All this up and down in the temperatures has caused many sicknesses, two of which were mine. 

Being sick is really all my fault. I didn't have a flu shot this year and boy, have I learned my lesson! I won't be making a mistake again in regards to that! All of this thinking brought to to mind a discussion I've seen on Facebook back in December. 

You see, someone brought up an old wives tale that her grandmother always lived by. It had to do with snowfall for the Winter. Whatever date the snow fell on and it was a tracking snow, that was how many snow storms we would have in the Season. This year by us, the first tracking snow happened on December 4th. and many people were not accepting this old wives tale at all. Only 4 snow storms? No way! This is Winter we're talking about. 

Well, looking back now, I can't help thinking how right this grandmother's wives tale truly has been. This is not Winter. Nor a Fall. It's been more like Spring than anything else. We discounted this woman's story, because it came from old. It came from the past and we are so much better than the past, right? 

We forget how much the elderly have to offer to this young generation. We discredit their experience, their knowledge as bull. They don't know what they're talking about. Well, I can assure you I will check next Winter when that snow actually fell so I can plan my Season. This woman's grandmother? What a blessing!

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The RV

                                           Everyday is a brand new day,
                                            everyday is a journey.


Ask nothing more of me, sweet;
All I can give you I give.
Heart of my heart, were it more,
More would be laid at your feet:
Love that should help you to live,
Song that should help you to soar.

--Algernon Charles Swinburne.

So as I have posted earlier, I've been YouTubing and reading a blog on Rv living. I've only begun, but already I have many concerns. Here they are!

1. Mice
 I've seen two videos on mice entering the Rv. That's way too many. I abhor mice or any type of rodent. Uggh. Just the thought that this could happen has me seriously doubting this lifestyle. UGGH!  The thought of having to touch a mousetrap or have the cat bring me a dead one, sends me running in the opposite direction. Uggh!


2. Winters/Cold
I'm not sure an Rv is equipped to keep one warm in the harsh Winter weather. Majority of the Rv dwellers live in a very warm climate. I really need more research on this.

3. Maintenance
This scares me a little even if I had a Tiny House or an Rv. I worry if I'm able to maintain the upkeep of batteries or the propane tanks. Then there is the hot water, the gray water and the black water treatment. What about the generator? What about the solar? I would have to take a course. 

4. Boon Docking
Boon docking is camping without any hookups. My original plan was to park it on someone's land or mine. There is an option of parking at a campsite or Rv Park. There are two problems I see already. One, none of these parks are year round. Two, they're a fair distance away from my family. I could boon dock with a Tiny House no problem, but can I do so with an Rv?

These last two are an absolute plus to an Rv!

5. Storage
Almost every type of Rv I have seen on YouTube, has plenty of storage for me. I say for me, because I am one person and I already know what I would be taking with me. A Tiny House might be a problem in that regards.

6. Hooks, Hooks
It seems that Rv dwellers have an unlimited use for hooks of every type. Their imagination is beyond anything I have ever seen. Ideas galore!

So it seems I still have much more research ahead of me as I try to find something that will fit my purpose. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

Lent

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


He leads me where the waters glide,
The waters soft and still,
 And homeward He will gently guide 
My wandering heart and will. 
J. KEBLE.

As a child, I have spent every Lent Season, giving up something in remembrance of Our Christ dying on the Cross.
Ashes on Ash Wednesday, followed by The Stations of the Cross at Church. No meat on Friday. On Palm Sunday, we shaped our Palms into a Cross to hang in our cars and homes. We would get a mason jar full of Holy Water from the Church and sprinkle that around our home/vehicles, The following Saturday, we decorated our Easter Baskets with specific goods: Butter shaped into a lamb, Easter eggs, sausage, salt, grated beets with horseradish, small round loaves of bread and a pound cake shaped into a lamb. This was our Easter breakfast. 

This was my Lent as a Catholic. For the last six years, Emily and I have been fasting every January for the entire month. That was how we welcomed the New Year, fresh and clean, free of any baggage from the previous year. Since our move back in December, we basically skipped that fast this year. I have no particular reason. We just felt a need to do something different this time around. 

As Lent is here, I've been thinking what others  are doing this time or what it means to them personally. When I was a Catholic, it was traditional and ritualistic like Thanksgiving Dinner. The problem with tradition and ritualism is that it can become the norm. I think in a way, our fasting every January has become the norm. 

I'm not here to rain on any given religion and their traditions, but I do sometimes wonder if people come out and visit their Churches during these traditional events or do they every Sunday. I've always held this belief that if I claim to be someone or something, well then, do it all the way. Not just sometimes or on Holidays. Be that every single day.

Every Ash Wednesday, Christians come out and get their ashes, making one believe the world loves Jesus. Only that isn't really true. People love Jesus when it suits them. Sadly, on Thursday, the world will go back living the way they have been. They will, of course, come out every Friday proclaiming no meat.

I'm sorry if I sound condescending. I really don't mean to, but we need to wake up. We cannot just claim to love Jesus and  only obey His Ways when we feel like it.  This is why we Christians are viewed as fake by nonbelievers. We don't live what we preach. Just like the movie War Room claims, no one likes a lukewarm anything. 

Have a blessed day everyone.