Here's what has been going on lately in my life . Here's an update . . . . .
My Knee
After yet another doctor appointment , it has been decided that I go to physical therapy . I'm still wearing my adhesive pads on my knee 12 hours on and 12 hours off . I'm not sure how much good it actually does . I have good days and I have bad days . Walking up and down stairs is still a difficulty . Maybe the physical therapy will help . If there is no improvement , I might have to change positions at work since I spend so much time walking around .
My Bucket List
My list has basically come to a standstill . Every since I have returned to work , my life has become full . I can't seem to get back on track . My energy level is so low plus I have been experiencing health setbacks of one kind or another . Nothing too serious , more of a hindrance . Performing just the basics daily has been a struggle . I , personally , think that maybe I should have taken at least another month before going back . Can't do anything about it now .
St. Jude's Booties
I have , so far , about 125 booties made . Not as much as I hoped I would have by now , but as I have stated , it's slow going for me . I'm not falling asleep while driving . My energy seemed to improve a little . I'm very disappointed with myself at producing so little . Thank goodness , I have given myself until the end of the year . Hopefully , my production will improve .
My Cancer
As far as I know , I am in remission . My next doctor visit will be in June . My tests will be done every three months now .
Well folks , that's all for now . Will keep you posted . Have a Blessed Week .
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Becoming A Mother
When I was growing up , I usually was the one who did all the babysitting . My parents entertained every weekend and if anyone brought children they were left with me while the grownups enjoyed each other's company . Needless to say , having children of my own was never a priority .
While my friends dreamed of getting married and raising children , all I dreamt about was getting an apartment on my own . Funny , that I ended up being the first of my friends to have children and I had four of them . The part about living on my own in that apartment ? Well , it never happened . That's how life is and sometimes my plan is not the same as God's .
When I became a mom for the first time , I experienced a love unlike any other I have known . Being a mother is an experience that I didn't plan on but God knew what was inside my heart . He knew how much love I had and He knew of the bond that would develop between my children and myself .
To me , Mother's Day , is not just for women with children . I believe that all women are mothers to all children . Whether we are Aunts , sisters , neighbors or co-workers . . .we are nurturing , understanding , loving role models to all children in our lives .
In my life , I am surrounded by all types of women . Some are mothers and some are trying to be mothers . Some adopted or some that gave up for adoption . Some are raising their siblings children and some that are raising their grandchildren . Each of us have one thing in common . . . . the love we have for these children .
As Mother's Day approaches , I find myself thinking of my own mom . I look at myself and how much she has influenced my life . How she has formed me into the woman I am today without my knowing . When did this happen ? I wasn't aware of the learning process . When did I learn to become so much like her ?
Happy Mother's Day to all women !
While my friends dreamed of getting married and raising children , all I dreamt about was getting an apartment on my own . Funny , that I ended up being the first of my friends to have children and I had four of them . The part about living on my own in that apartment ? Well , it never happened . That's how life is and sometimes my plan is not the same as God's .
When I became a mom for the first time , I experienced a love unlike any other I have known . Being a mother is an experience that I didn't plan on but God knew what was inside my heart . He knew how much love I had and He knew of the bond that would develop between my children and myself .
To me , Mother's Day , is not just for women with children . I believe that all women are mothers to all children . Whether we are Aunts , sisters , neighbors or co-workers . . .we are nurturing , understanding , loving role models to all children in our lives .
In my life , I am surrounded by all types of women . Some are mothers and some are trying to be mothers . Some adopted or some that gave up for adoption . Some are raising their siblings children and some that are raising their grandchildren . Each of us have one thing in common . . . . the love we have for these children .
As Mother's Day approaches , I find myself thinking of my own mom . I look at myself and how much she has influenced my life . How she has formed me into the woman I am today without my knowing . When did this happen ? I wasn't aware of the learning process . When did I learn to become so much like her ?
Happy Mother's Day to all women !
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sowing Spiritual Seeds
A long time ago , someone planted a spiritual seed regarding me . They were not the only planters . There were many planters before that seed grew into a rich and luscious and plentiful crop . But I'm glad that they took the time and cared enough .
When did it start ? I've thought about this for awhile . I believe my first introduction was in my teens as I worked as a waitress at this small restaurant , George N Willie's . There was a waitress who only worked there for a short while . Her family was experiencing hard times with her husband being laid off and having two small babies .
She told me how someone at her church gave her family a hundred dollar bill because this person felt they needed help . Honestly , I felt she was crazy . How could anyone feel that you needed help? I just didn't understand .
This woman also invited me to her church . Now , thinking back , if I thought she was crazy , why did I go ? Mind you , at that time , I was still a Catholic . . .. . .maybe a doubting Catholic , but still a Catholic .
The " church " was in a hotel conference room . The Pastor was loud and speaking about sinners being in the room . I became scared . I've never been exposed to anything like that . Church was different kind of experience for me . It was easier to just think they were all crazy . What kind of church meets in a hotel conference room ?
I wasn't ready then . My heart was closed but a little crack formed . That crack grew bigger with every small experience throughout the years until it finally cracked wide open . There wasn't any one person but many people who planted my seed .
All the people I have met since my transformation , I wonder how many seeds I have planted . How many have actually ripened into fruit ?
When did it start ? I've thought about this for awhile . I believe my first introduction was in my teens as I worked as a waitress at this small restaurant , George N Willie's . There was a waitress who only worked there for a short while . Her family was experiencing hard times with her husband being laid off and having two small babies .
She told me how someone at her church gave her family a hundred dollar bill because this person felt they needed help . Honestly , I felt she was crazy . How could anyone feel that you needed help? I just didn't understand .
This woman also invited me to her church . Now , thinking back , if I thought she was crazy , why did I go ? Mind you , at that time , I was still a Catholic . . .. . .maybe a doubting Catholic , but still a Catholic .
The " church " was in a hotel conference room . The Pastor was loud and speaking about sinners being in the room . I became scared . I've never been exposed to anything like that . Church was different kind of experience for me . It was easier to just think they were all crazy . What kind of church meets in a hotel conference room ?
I wasn't ready then . My heart was closed but a little crack formed . That crack grew bigger with every small experience throughout the years until it finally cracked wide open . There wasn't any one person but many people who planted my seed .
All the people I have met since my transformation , I wonder how many seeds I have planted . How many have actually ripened into fruit ?
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Reasons For Living
A few days ago , I asked " what is your reason for living " . I shared mine . Let me share someone else's . Anyone else who would like to share ?
WHAT DO I LIVE FOR ?
There are days that I wish I could just go home, to be perfectly honest! Life is not easy, is it? But then there are days that I wish I had at least another thousand years to live! Life, with all of its challenges, is so wonderful!
WHAT DO I LIVE FOR ?
There are days that I wish I could just go home, to be perfectly honest! Life is not easy, is it? But then there are days that I wish I had at least another thousand years to live! Life, with all of its challenges, is so wonderful!
I love to see the wonder of life through the eyes of my grandchildren. Beginning college or beginning kindergarten, they are in love with life and it is contagious!
Having raised my kids, that part of life is behind me for some time now. I loved every minute of being a mother! He gave me the best when he gave me a family. I really believe that.
Free now to move on, I am aware of the Lord pulling on my heartstrings to give to Him the best that I have with whatever time I have left in life. Sometimes, I think I have next to nothing to give. But then I see the faces of people all around me who are wounded, broken hearted and lost. I so want to bring to them the love and healing touch of Jesus Christ. Where would I be had someone not done that for me? For the many someone's that God placed in my life to see me through the times when I didn't want to go on, I want to give something back. That's what gets me up in the morning and calls my name to give it all I've got until He calls me home. To me, there's nothing sweeter in life!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Lateral Violence
Why is work so hard ? Of all the relationships in our lives , why are the work relationships the most difficult ? There is always that one person who wants to see you miserable . That takes every available opportunity to make you feel small . Why ? What is it about me that threatens this person ? Goading is their favorite pasttime .
It's funny how God works . When your hurting , He always lets you know He is there . He is aware of you're situation . During lunch I come across an article on " lateral violence " .
Lateral violence .
back stabbing , innuendo , infighting , sabotage , verbal affronts , failure to respect privacy .
Sounds familiar ? I think , I have experienced everyone of these with my " one person ". We all have that person , don't we ?
After a particularly hard week , I feel drained and hopeless . I turn to the One who I know will help me through this . I am not alone . We all have experienced weeks like this . We all have that one person who is a trial .
We set out to work , trying to accomplish what is set in front of us . We don't bother anyone . Yet , we get attacked .....for what ? I honestly believe that it's a jealousy issue of some sorts . Their own life is missing something.....most likely a relationship with Christ . I know alot of people who believe in God but have no relationship with Him .
Even as this person hurts me , I feel sorry for them to have to stoop to that level to feel good about themselves . Do they really feel good about themselves ?
As I prepare for work tonight , I pray , " Jesus walk with me ".
It's funny how God works . When your hurting , He always lets you know He is there . He is aware of you're situation . During lunch I come across an article on " lateral violence " .
Lateral violence .
back stabbing , innuendo , infighting , sabotage , verbal affronts , failure to respect privacy .
Sounds familiar ? I think , I have experienced everyone of these with my " one person ". We all have that person , don't we ?
After a particularly hard week , I feel drained and hopeless . I turn to the One who I know will help me through this . I am not alone . We all have experienced weeks like this . We all have that one person who is a trial .
We set out to work , trying to accomplish what is set in front of us . We don't bother anyone . Yet , we get attacked .....for what ? I honestly believe that it's a jealousy issue of some sorts . Their own life is missing something.....most likely a relationship with Christ . I know alot of people who believe in God but have no relationship with Him .
Even as this person hurts me , I feel sorry for them to have to stoop to that level to feel good about themselves . Do they really feel good about themselves ?
As I prepare for work tonight , I pray , " Jesus walk with me ".
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Grudge Free Living
I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling like I have stuck my foot in it . Everytime I open it , nothing good comes out . I have all these emotions bottled up inside and I can't seem to let anyone know how I feel . Whenever I would blow up , all the wrong things would come out . Whenever I 'ld try to tell someone how I feel , it all came out wrong .Did you ever feel completely out of whack ?
It took my friend to make me aware that I really was hurting inside . Someone has hurt my feelings and has been continuing to hurt my feelings . Whether they are intentionally doing it or unaware , makes no difference . . . . . . my feelings are hurt . What's worse , I'm the only one aware of it . Funny , how people see what they want to see rather than what actually is .
There are people who will hurt us and we need to forgive them . That's where I'm at . . . . forgiveness . I find myself at a point where I forgive or let it eat me up . Do I stay in this place feeling insecure about myself because of their bad behavior ? No . Do I excuse their behavior ? No , but I need to let go of these feelings .
This person could apologize but the hurt feelings would still remain and maybe I might even have a different attitude towards this person later on . No , I need to forgive before they even ask for forgiveness . They , themselves could be hurting on the inside . We don't know what goes on in their home or their lives . Or maybe not .
It's difficult to forgive because people need to see the justification . They want to know the time , day and type of punishment that will be used by God on this person .
All I know is that I haven't been right on the inside because of this person . I , I myself , need to let go of this and move on . Hurt feelings turn into anger . Anger turns into grudges . I don't want to live that way . I want to live a grudge free life .
It took my friend to make me aware that I really was hurting inside . Someone has hurt my feelings and has been continuing to hurt my feelings . Whether they are intentionally doing it or unaware , makes no difference . . . . . . my feelings are hurt . What's worse , I'm the only one aware of it . Funny , how people see what they want to see rather than what actually is .
There are people who will hurt us and we need to forgive them . That's where I'm at . . . . forgiveness . I find myself at a point where I forgive or let it eat me up . Do I stay in this place feeling insecure about myself because of their bad behavior ? No . Do I excuse their behavior ? No , but I need to let go of these feelings .
This person could apologize but the hurt feelings would still remain and maybe I might even have a different attitude towards this person later on . No , I need to forgive before they even ask for forgiveness . They , themselves could be hurting on the inside . We don't know what goes on in their home or their lives . Or maybe not .
It's difficult to forgive because people need to see the justification . They want to know the time , day and type of punishment that will be used by God on this person .
All I know is that I haven't been right on the inside because of this person . I , I myself , need to let go of this and move on . Hurt feelings turn into anger . Anger turns into grudges . I don't want to live that way . I want to live a grudge free life .
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
1 Corinthians 2:9
No eye has seen , no ear has heard , no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him .
1 Corinthians 2 : 9
Linda has been on my mind . Everywhere I look in my apartment , I am reminded of her . A shirt she has given me , hanging in the closet . On the wall there is a calendar personalized by her . Every page a special note written for me and Emily . On my dresser , a scarf that she wore at one time , now belonging to me .
Opening a book , the above verse stares up at me . That's Linda's verse . I can picture her saying it to me as we spoke on the phone one day . That day we both were not feeling well , experiencing side effects from chemo . Our conversation focused on our dying and going to heaven .
Linda recited that verse to me , remarking how much she loved it . No eye has seen . " Can you imagine what we will be seeing ? Something that has never been seen by a living person ". No ear has heard . " What are we gonna hear , Lottie ?" No mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him . " We can't imagine it because this is beauty beyond beauty . No living being has witnessed it before ."
I have seen and read this verse many times and yet , never have I understood it like I did that day with Linda . It has so much meaning for the both of us .
Yes , Linda has been on my mind lately . Someone once told me that if we keep thinking about a person with no explanation , that person needs our prayer . So I keep praying for Linda . My friend .
1 Corinthians 2 : 9
Linda has been on my mind . Everywhere I look in my apartment , I am reminded of her . A shirt she has given me , hanging in the closet . On the wall there is a calendar personalized by her . Every page a special note written for me and Emily . On my dresser , a scarf that she wore at one time , now belonging to me .
Opening a book , the above verse stares up at me . That's Linda's verse . I can picture her saying it to me as we spoke on the phone one day . That day we both were not feeling well , experiencing side effects from chemo . Our conversation focused on our dying and going to heaven .
Linda recited that verse to me , remarking how much she loved it . No eye has seen . " Can you imagine what we will be seeing ? Something that has never been seen by a living person ". No ear has heard . " What are we gonna hear , Lottie ?" No mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him . " We can't imagine it because this is beauty beyond beauty . No living being has witnessed it before ."
I have seen and read this verse many times and yet , never have I understood it like I did that day with Linda . It has so much meaning for the both of us .
Yes , Linda has been on my mind lately . Someone once told me that if we keep thinking about a person with no explanation , that person needs our prayer . So I keep praying for Linda . My friend .
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