Turning The Pages

 

                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

As ships meet at sea—a moment together,

when words of greeting must be spoken, 

and then away upon the deep

—so men meet in this world; 

and I think we should cross no

 man's path without hailing him, 

and if he needs,

 giving him supplies.

—Henry Ward Beecher

The anniversary of my cancer diagnosis sneaked up on me rather unexpectedly and quite rudely this year. May 25 will forever be etched in the throne room of my memories and yet this year, I have forgotten. It was a conversation with another cancer patient that brought it all back. The memories flooded back, surprisingly so fresh with emotion. The pages kept turning, year after year, all 16 of them.

Life is full of twists and turns. How many times have we come across that line in our life? Unfortunately, it is more than just a line we read in an article or a witty Facebook post. None of us knew what the future had in store for us. Would it have made any difference if we did? Maybe we would have loved more. Been more. Done more. We experienced, we endured, we suffered through, hoping the ordeal ends soon. We long to turn the page.

Majority of the time, we only have ourselves to blame for these twists and turns. Maybe it is something we have said or not said. A behavior that should have never happened. Or perhaps a decision we regret. I often reflect upon my life wondering about all the people I have met. Where are they now? Have I made an impact on their life? Good or bad? If only we could turn the page . . . backwards.

 There are events that come into our life that have no explanation. The why's? The how's? We cannot make sense or reason of it. A health diagnosis or a loss of family. We are heartbroken, wondering how we ended up here. We ask God what His purpose for us could possibly come from such anguish. Oh Lord, where is the good in all of it? We call out to Him, completely naked in our sincerity. We reach for the Good Book and eagerly turn the pages.

What is life? I ask myself this question searchingly, as the memories flood my being. Here I am, sixteen years later, remembering all the people that have walked through my path. Some fleetingly, some much longer. I heard their stories and held their hand. What is life? To me, living life fully and wholeheartedly. We gave of ourselves in love, forgiveness and servitude. We messed up, but never gave up. We succeeded and thanked God for it. 

Keep fighting, folks! Keep living! God is the only one who can turn that final page.

Have a blessed day everyone.