Just A Little Nap

 

                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

What stronger breast-plate than a heart untainted!  

Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, 

And he but naked, though locked up in steel,

 Whose conscience with injustice is corrupted.

—William Shakespear

Naps are wonderful, aren't they? Especially, the ones during the Summer! There is something so invigorating and inviting about the season. One wakes up every morning to birds singing, the sunrise streaming through the window and the warmth of the coming day.

Everything is fresh and new and bright. So many new flowers burst forth every week blanketing the scenery with color. We face each day with excitement that Winter denied our hearts. We can bask in the bounty of this wonderful season called Summer enjoying the abundance of fruits and vegetables.

Let's get back to the nap. I have been working so much lately, taking on extra shifts for others while they were on vacation. As tiring as it can be, I am always grateful for the extra blessing God sends my way to be able to save up towards my dream. Naps actually help my body rest during times that I "overdo" with work.

This afternoon, a nap was essential and appreciated. Only in Summer can I nap and not feel guilty for doing so. Why is that? Why do we feel guilty for taking an extra snooze any other time?

I wonder if the Sun has anything to do with it?

This wonderful and free vitamin provides energy that we are lacking any other season. We are able to get up and face the day, an extra longer day, being able to cram into it as much as we possibly can. We feel productive and that does my heart good! I love being productive and therefore, I deserve a nap. You do, too.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Our Greatest Fear

                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Do good with what thou hast, 

or it will do thee no good.

 If thou wouldst be happy,

 bring thy mind to thy condition, 

and have an indifferency for more

 than what is sufficient.
—William Penn.

When I first started the blog, it was meant to be a memory journal for my children chronicling my cancer journey. At that time, my cancer came back for the second time and I really thought my life would end in death. 

It is not an easy task to think of death, especially when it is your own. Death is scary to us, because it symbolizes the unknown. It represents the  finality of everything we have ever experienced and puts to question our faith. Do you truly believe what you believe when it comes to the doctrine of your faith?

I believe that we all experience the fear of death at some point in our life. It is even more pronounced when our health is at question. The uncertainty and the unknown can eat away at us working our minds at full speed. Don't allow that to happen. 

When we are in a struggle of any kind, we forget everything that is true and sensible. We stress, we worry, we become anxious. We allow negativity to enter our minds. We lose track of everything we have been taught and we grasp at things that make no sense. 

I am no different and often struggle with these same issues. I allow myself a pity party that lasts only a few days. After that, I have to get back up and look at the reality of things. I have shed buckets of tears over my lifetime, especially during my cancer journeys. I cannot tell you the exact time and place when I came to terms with my fear of dying. I do know it was a process that had to take place. I recorded my feelings here on paper with words and that helped me deal.

I have no idea what that may look like for you. Will it take a group session with fellow survivors? Perhaps more of an one on one counseling? A personal journal or retreat? I do know that it has to take place. We cannot move forward unless we do so. Even as Christians when we accept Christ into our hearts, we have to overcome that fear of dying. Jesus is our salvation, our life. We become alive in Him and He offers us eternal life. 

I still have a fear of the process of dying. Will it be painful and full of suffering? Will it be quick or will it happen peacefully in my sleep? Either way, I know where I am going. Do you?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Just A Rocking Chair

 

                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Some murmur if their sky is clear,

And wholly bright to view,
If one small speck of dark appear
In their great heaven of blue:
And some with thankful love are filled,
If but one streak of light,
One ray of God's good mercy, gild
The darkness of their night.
R. C. TRENCH.

June has always been a time of new beginnings. People get married, children graduate and families move into their new home. Fresh new blooms in the garden grow and birds chatter away, bringing in the new day every morning. There is a bursting of energy in nature as well as in the communities around us. There is activity, there is life and there is busyness.

In the midst of all this chaos, I remain good. I have this sense of peace, a peace that has been missing these past two years. I am becoming astutely aware of how our life here is limited. We like to think that we have plenty of time for everything. We say to ourselves: Right now, I just want to have fun, enjoy myself with all the things I want to do. That is a lie we tell ourselves, because time is so fleeting. In my head, I like to feel as if I am 30, but in reality it couldn't be farther from the truth. Time has gone in a blink of an eye. I remember when my children were born and now they're way past grown.

In front of my door, there is a rocking chair given to me by my younger brother's family. When we moved here three years ago, my son placed that rocking chair right in that spot. That was the first piece of furniture he took out of the moving truck. It has sat there all this time. At first, I would sit there every morning drinking my coffee, taking in the sunshine and the birds singing. Then I found a job and life became busy once again. The rocking chair remained empty.

Funny thing about that rocking chair. The children in our complex flock to it, playing on it and so do the neighborhood cats. Many a times, we have looked outside the window only to see a cat rocking away! It does my heart good to think our front step is so welcoming. Didn't Jesus say, come all ye who are weary and rest?

What we have today can be gone in a heartbeat! One diagnosis. One divorce decree. One career ended. Lives changed forever. The way we go in is not how we come out. Think of the children playing on your front patio, so very carefree. Think of that cat rocking away, enjoying the moment he is in. That's peace. That's faith and trust in the Lord. So much Joy and release from stress just by saying a heartfelt sentence: Jesus come into my heart. 

Don't wait before it is too late and we are full of nothing, but regret. Open your heart to Him and He shall fill your days with peace.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Turning The Pages

 

                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

As ships meet at sea—a moment together,

when words of greeting must be spoken, 

and then away upon the deep

—so men meet in this world; 

and I think we should cross no

 man's path without hailing him, 

and if he needs,

 giving him supplies.

—Henry Ward Beecher

The anniversary of my cancer diagnosis sneaked up on me rather unexpectedly and quite rudely this year. May 25 will forever be etched in the throne room of my memories and yet this year, I have forgotten. It was a conversation with another cancer patient that brought it all back. The memories flooded back, surprisingly so fresh with emotion. The pages kept turning, year after year, all 16 of them.

Life is full of twists and turns. How many times have we come across that line in our life? Unfortunately, it is more than just a line we read in an article or a witty Facebook post. None of us knew what the future had in store for us. Would it have made any difference if we did? Maybe we would have loved more. Been more. Done more. We experienced, we endured, we suffered through, hoping the ordeal ends soon. We long to turn the page.

Majority of the time, we only have ourselves to blame for these twists and turns. Maybe it is something we have said or not said. A behavior that should have never happened. Or perhaps a decision we regret. I often reflect upon my life wondering about all the people I have met. Where are they now? Have I made an impact on their life? Good or bad? If only we could turn the page . . . backwards.

 There are events that come into our life that have no explanation. The why's? The how's? We cannot make sense or reason of it. A health diagnosis or a loss of family. We are heartbroken, wondering how we ended up here. We ask God what His purpose for us could possibly come from such anguish. Oh Lord, where is the good in all of it? We call out to Him, completely naked in our sincerity. We reach for the Good Book and eagerly turn the pages.

What is life? I ask myself this question searchingly, as the memories flood my being. Here I am, sixteen years later, remembering all the people that have walked through my path. Some fleetingly, some much longer. I heard their stories and held their hand. What is life? To me, living life fully and wholeheartedly. We gave of ourselves in love, forgiveness and servitude. We messed up, but never gave up. We succeeded and thanked God for it. 

Keep fighting, folks! Keep living! God is the only one who can turn that final page.

Have a blessed day everyone.