Give Yourself Permission

 

                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Without an end or bound

    Thy life lies all outspread in light;
      Our lives feel Thy life all around,
    Making our weakness strong,

 our darkness bright;
  Yet is it neither wilderness nor sea,
  But the calm gladness of a full eternity.
F. W. FABER.

Do you know the worst thing people do after cancer? They try to forget about it. They don't want to think about it or talk about it. They are afraid to even mention that word cancer. It's over so let's forget it ever happened. 

They forget the most important part of healing. They need to process what just happened to them. Giving yourself permission to feel can hurt. It's raw, painful and we just don't want to go there, but it's so necessary for our mental health.

My process happened pretty late with my 4th. bout with cancer. I literally experienced a mental breakdown as I looked on at all of my scars in a full length mirror. Everything was exposed and one could have played connect the dots. My scars are not pretty lines, but jagged and wide. My body went through a lot and it showed. 

Somehow, I led myself to believe that I was done with my healing process. Somehow, I thought I did all that with the other bouts with cancer. Yes, somehow, but it all was a lie.

We pick ourselves up and we continue on with a positive outlook. We may have crying spells that we cannot explain, but as long as we are positive we will survive. We consider ourselves lucky to be alive. That's the lies we tell ourselves. 

Well, I'm here to tell you to give yourself permission to throw a fit. Yell, scream, throw things. Let it all out. We need to process our hurts. We need to acknowledge the pain it has caused and only then can we move on. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not going to make unless you are POSITIVE. I used to hate that word especially whenever people would point out that I shouldn't cry. Well, go ahead and cry. Then pick yourself up and live life.

Have a blessed day everyone.