I had a very interesting conversation with one of my sister-in-laws . I have no idea how we got on the subject of life and death . I made a comment to her how I felt like I wasn't going back to work . That on my last day there , I felt like I was saying goodbye for the last time . She , of course , asked me if I thought I would die .
I don't know if I will die . What I meant is that I feel like my purpose here is over . That there is something different ....a new life...a new purpose ....a new beginning .Whether that is here on this earth , I don't know . I just know that life as I know it , is over for me . There is a fork in the road .
She told me that it looked like I made peace with my condition this time . No , I didn't . When I first found out , I burst out crying in front of the doctor . I wasn't expecting to hear anything like that . So what changed ? I don't know . Maybe , this blog . Making fun of it . Writing about it . Not sure really how or when it happened . But I am at peace .
I used to worry about my children . We are very close and I have a special relationship with both of them . My death will be very dramatic for them . Somehow , I know they will be okay . Maybe , it will bring them closer . My Joe has his wife , Aubrey . I just need to find a husband for Emily ....
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