Secret Garden

 

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,

                                                 everyday is a journey.

What I possess, or what I crave,

Brings no content, great God, to me,
If what I would, or what I have,
Be not possest, and blest, in Thee;
What I enjoy, O make it mine,
In making me that have it, Thine.
J. QUARLES.

I have always enjoyed a good storm whether it was a snowstorm or a thunderstorm. Whenever a storm is on it's way, I want to race home before it comes pouring down. There is something so comforting, so relaxing, so calming and reassuring when watching a powerful storm from the sanctity of one's home.  A sanctuary. A peaceful place where we find our biggest Joy and where we can feel safe from all the storms of the world.

For as long as I could remember, I have dreamt of such a place just for me. A tiny dwelling surrounded by woods, trees and flowers. A place where the only noise to be heard were the songs of the birds all day long. I have this vision in my mind of how exactly it will look. 

A home is so important. It's your special place to get away from everything chaotic and stressful. Choosing the one that fits you is key. What that may look like for me could be entirely different for you.

This past Spring, my son and his wife, sold their home. A home that I absolutely adored. My favorite spot was the porch and I have made several YouTube videos on that porch. I just couldn't get over the idea that it was being sold. I couldn't imagine another place out there that would be able to replace it. I kept driving by unexpectedly when no one was home to take one more look before it was sold. 

When the time came to pack it all up, I cried real tears for that home. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to give up a true gem such as this place. Some time passed and I went to revisit that place that held so much of my love. I was taken aback by what I saw. It didn't look anything how I remembered it. In fact, it resembled a shell like any other home out there. This couldn't possibly be my special place. 

I realized that what makes a home is not the structure itself, but the people inside it. That place was special to me, because of who lived there and made it a real home. They decorated it and filled it with things that reflected who they were as a family. A real sanctuary.

The book Secret Garden written by Frances Hodgson Burnett, spoke of such a place. A hidden, secret garden that was so special to a group of children. No one knew of it, except them. We all want to find a secret garden of our own where we can be ourselves, safe and hidden, from a destructive world. A place to run home to when the storm hits. What does that place look like to you?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Living Purposely

                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 Bright be my prospect as I pass along;--

An ardent service at the cost of all,--
Love by untiring ministry made strong,
And ready for the first, the softest call.
A. L. WARING

If there is one goal I want to achieve in my lifetime is to show others with a chronic illness that they too can live a purposeful life. Yes, it is harder and takes longer to do certain things, but we can still accomplish plenty. We are not finished living life.

A person does not go through all that, both physically and mentally, without a struggle. It is that struggle and determination that actually makes us stronger than the average person. It should not be an obstacle to us living out our best life. Life is meant to be lived, so let's live it fully.

When I first came out on YouTube, I went in search of other channels who were living life with cancer. The ones I found were either several years old with no current video or ones going through the treatment. I noticed two things right away. One, they stopped chronicling their journey once in remission. Two, they passed away. 

That truly bothers me. I know that cancer is a hard word for many people to think about or say, but as survivors, shouldn't we encourage others to stay the course? Shouldn't we show them what comes after? The struggle isn't over just because we went into remission. For majority of us, living with pain becomes the norm or experiencing repetitions of recurrences. 

I don't want anyone to think life has nothing more to offer us except living with pain. We shouldn't be afraid to embrace the challenges that come with it nor should we be afraid of sharing the same challenges with others who are coming up behind us. 

Look at me, look where I have been and look where I am now.

That should be the words we want to live by and pass on to others with a chronic illness. We should also add and look where I'm going! 

Trust me, the last thing I want to do is be flippant about the journey with cancer or any other chronic illness. It was hard, really hard and at times, still can be. Giving up is not in my vocabulary. God has given me another chance to breathe out into others. I want to be an encouragement, a supportive shoulder, a joyful cheerleader to my fellow survivors, no matter what that illness may have been. 

Send me, Lord, send me.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

My Cup Overflowth

 

                                                    Everyday is a brand new day,

                                                     everyday is a journey

 

Be not o'ermastered by thy pain,

But cling to God, thou shall not fall;
The floods sweep over thee in vain,
Thou yet shall rise above them all;
For when thy trial seems too hard to bear,
Lo! God, thy King, hath granted all thy prayer:
Be thou content.
P. GERHARDT.

Back in 2016, I had my 4th. bout with ovarian cancer. We opted for surgery to remove the perfectly oval tumor, followed by 3 treatments of chemo and 25 days of radiation.

 I detested the radiation. I would wake up at 3 a.m. every single day and argue with God why I just couldn't go to radiation. Of course, I lost that battle every single time. I just couldn't understand why God was insisting on this wretched radiation.

Why did I detest this "radiation" so much? Well, if you know anything about Chicago, they have traffic, roadblocks and plenty of construction. It's a yearlong thing. It was inconvenient, costly and an irritation.

So here I was waking up around 3 a.m. in the morning due to a restless night. I would leave the house early and no matter which way you chose to go, in Chicago, mornings are especially "stop and go" all the way to the hospital. Not to mention, my truck was slowly dying, breaking down all the time. Again, my conversation with God never ceased from when I awakened. The arguing would go on until the radiation treatment was over for that day, only to begin all over the next morning in the exact fashion. 

What did I argue about? 

Why are you having me do this just to have it come back again next year?

What's the point, God?

Just look at all this traffic and I am wasting my precious time driving through it?

There's nowhere to park around here!

I have to spend so much money paying for parking every single day for 25 days!

I have to wait in the waiting room, because they are so backed up like my time isn't important!

If I can't find a parking spot, I'm going home!

You know, God blessed me even though I fought Him. That truck that broke down and finally died? A good friend of mine offered me the use of his daughter's vehicle since she was away at College. It didn't have a working radio so I couldn't tune God out while I was driving, but it did get me to radiation. That parking spot? Never had a problem. Once, a car pulled out right in front of me. All that waiting? I met so many beautiful women who needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. 

That was Fall of 2016 and now it's Summer of 2022. Still in remission. Still here. I sometimes wonder if I needed to get these arguments off my chest. Maybe I was really holding them in all those years being positive instead of examining my own emotions. Either way, God has a way of peeling the layers whether we want Him to or not. It may take a raw and painful encounter, but the work gets done. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Cancer Update 2022

                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 Lord, I have given my life to Thee,

And every day and hour is Thine,--
What Thou appointest let them be;
Thy will is better, Lord, than mine.
A. WARNER

It pains me to say this, because I am a firm believer in preventive medicine. I am exhausted with the joys and tribulations of our healthcare system. I am not interested in who is right and who is wrong, but we the patients are the ones missing out when insurance companies and hospitals clash. When they cannot come to any sort of agreement, we pay the price. 

So here I am, in a new place with a new oncologist for almost two years. Had a great checkup, great test results, better than ever in my fifteen years with cancer. What do you think happens? My insurance carrier cannot come to an agreement with my hospital/oncologist. 

Here we go again. This has happened for the third time. Each time, I have changed Doctors and even the insurance carrier. Things go well for awhile and then it happens again. . . .the negotiations go awry with each side wanting their way. Once again, I am left with no options, but find another oncologist. It's exhausting and frustrating!

I have come to the decision of waiting it out. I'm just done with all of this uncertainty and jumping around from one doctor to another. I pay good money for my insurance and I expect to be able to use it when needed. They obviously don't care about the likes of me. They have no problem taking my money, but they do have a problem when I want to use it. They put me through all sorts of hoops designed for me to determine whether I am eligible. 

Benefit enrollment season has come along and my company has graciously provided new coverage as compensation. That is good news, because I can do all my tests as needed. The problem is that I am not even happy about it for fear of it happening again and again. Insurance companies have so much power and we are dependent on them even though they need our money. Do I sound disgusted? I am and so should everyone else.

I have been very fortunate with my cancer care, but many out there have not been that lucky. I cannot even imagine being faced with huge medical bills when all that I should be concentrating on is getting better and getting rid of this cancer. Yet, people every single day are faced with this issue, because our health care system is not working for us. 

Don't get me wrong, I have been doing great. I just wish everyone else did too. Health insurance should be the last thing we worry about when faced with life threatening decisions. Nothing will change until people's hearts change in how they do business and interact with others. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Living Water

 

                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

What comforts, Lord, to those are given,

Who seek in Thee their home and rest!
They find on earth an opening heaven,
And in Thy peace are amply blest.
W. C. DESSLER.

The living water . . .

I have written many blogs on storms and rain. I have found comfort in the raging storms as to me they represent God's manifestation of his Power. God is Almighty. He is Powerful. He cleanses the Earth of all it's folly. He forgives. He restores the ugly into full glory.

We believe that, yes? Yet, we do not fully live that out in the world. If God forgives and restores . . . 

Why do we talk about that co-worker who has been clean for a year or more?

Then why do we stay away from a neighbor that perhaps looks too different and wild?

Why do we bring up someone's past and hold it against them?

Why do we judge others?

Why do we choose the people we are willing to forgive instead of forgiving all?

Jesus provided the Living Water for all of us and yet, we want to be the ones who decide who receives it. What qualifies us to determine who is worthy of the Living water? We like to compare ourselves against everyone else, like a measuring stick. Yeah, I'm better than that guy over there. The problem here is that when we reach Heaven, we won't be compared to each other. We will be compared with Jesus. 

How do you think you will do then?

God chose us, sin and all, because He saw what we could be. He saw the finished product, not the ugliness of who we were before Him. Now we just need to believe and then live it. Believe that you are worthy. Believe that your neighbor is worthy, too.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Our Elderly

  

                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,

  As the swift seasons roll!
  Leave thy low-vaulted past!
  Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
  Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
  Till thou at length art free,
  Leaving thine outgrown shell by life's unresting sea!
O. W. HOLMES.

   Working among the elderly has broadened my heart for them even more.  Passing in the hallways, I encounter many of them and I can honestly say they just want one thing . . . .acknowledgement. They want someone to stop and converse with them about all the mundane  things of life. We tend to place our elderly on a shelf like an ornament and forget about them. The following story is just an example of how much we can gain from their wisdom, their friendship, their experience. I hope you enjoy and perhaps even remember the elderly in your life. 

Lessons from a 100-Year-Old Mentor By Dianne Derby Dianne Derby is a journalist. She raced from one event to the next, capturing stories and sound bites. Everything changed when she met centenarian Jim Downing at a luncheon for World War II veterans and he challenged her to live a life of fulfillment. At the time, Jim was the second-oldest living survivor of Pearl Harbor. They started meeting every week as Jim shared his faith in Jesus with Dianne. ###   When you spend every Tuesday morning with someone for five years, you learn a lot about each other. “It takes more than a howdy and a handshake to know someone,” Jim once said to me. “How well we know another person is relative to the number of shared experiences with them and the depth of those times together.” Lessons Learned: Depth. That feels like the magic word. Jim never once— never once!— wasted time on small talk. Talking about the weather makes me tune out in about five seconds, but someone’s thoughts, inspirations, what they crave most in life—this I could talk about for hours and hours. And we did. Every time I showed up to meet with Jim, I was changed before I left the room. That’s the power of the presence of someone who was walking with Christ, passing his faith on to someone who wanted to learn. Jim had such a sense of approachability. I wanted to learn from him because I wanted his joy. I could feel it when I was with him. He was always so interested and invested in others. He would remember things I told him for weeks afterward. Jim showed me how that kind of intentionality made people feel. Worry: When I lay awake at night, feeling worried about the world and the future it offers to my daughter, Claire, I can remember Jim saying, “Worries are self-manufactured, and most of what we worry about never happens. Our worries are in our imagination, not in the realm of reality.” Prayer was his go-to answer for worry. Jim also told me he navigated worry by imagining the worst-case scenario. When Jim was the captain of a navy ship during the Korean War, he once had a mission to dock the ship in a place where a typhoon had broken most of the pier away. There were rocks on each side and no tugboat. He was sure he was going to run this ship into the rocks and aground, perhaps killing someone. If any of that happened, he’d get a court-martial and never receive a position of responsibility again. That was the worst-case scenario. But that’s when he realized that no matter what happened, he’d still be okay. He would not be without the love of God or his family or his relationships with friends. As Jim said, “When I consider this, I can live with the worst-case scenario.” Relationships: When Chip (my husband) and I cannot see eye to eye, I recall what Jim would say: “Love is the voluntary giving up of oneself for another. It is unconditional acceptance and desire of good for another person.” Chip demonstrates this far better than I do. He’s so accepting and selfless in our marriage. He makes me want to do everything so much better. No Substitute: Jim never had a drink of alcohol, as far as I know. It was a simple decision for him. He didn’t need it. He was so alert, so present with everyone he met. He wanted to have the depth of friendship that comes without the influence of alcohol, the true transparency that can be clouded by intoxication. Jim was on to something. He taught me when you have Jesus, you don’t need any lesser things to help you cope. Jim believed God is the answer. He is the ultimate comfort, the ultimate peace. There is no substitute for the Holy Spirit. I think of Jim every time I drive on the I-25 bridge over Cimarron Street, right near downtown Colorado Springs. This is the largest bridge in Colorado Springs, and it is named after Jim: Big green signs on both sides of the interstate announce the “Lieutenant James ‘Jim’ Downing Bridge.” The bridge-dedication ceremony was in a park just east of the bridge on a cool fall morning in 2017. Jim was in his full navy uniform, ready to accept the dedication on behalf of all the heroes before and after him. After he thanked the people who organized the dedication and honored the veterans of the past, he left us all with one final, breathtaking quote: “The greatest bridge is the bridge between heaven and earth.” At more than one hundred years old, my mentor told me, “I’ve still got plenty of life left.” And right up to the very end, Jim was still teaching, still growing, still chasing down life. One of my biggest challenges every day is to live the example Jim has set for me— and I know Jim would clarify right now: “Dianne, you mean the example Jesus has set for us.”  Taken from Two Hundred Tuesdays: What a Pearl Harbor Survivor Taught Me about Life, Love, and Faith by Dianne Derby. Copyright © 2022. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Top - Jim Downing and Dianne at Jim's 100th birthday lunch celebration at The Navigators Headquarters (Photo Credit: Hensley family) Middle - Cimarron Bridge Dedication ceremony 2017. The largest bridge in Colorado Springs is named after Jim (Photo Credit: Cindy Kuhn Photography) An award-winning journalist, Dianne Derby is a longtime television anchor who currently is a co-anchor for the KOAA News5 weekday team in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She met Jim Downing at a luncheon for World War II veterans and learned from him every Tuesday for the next five years. Dianne is originally from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with degrees from The Florida State University, University of Miami, and University of Florida. She and her husband live in Colorado Springs with their young daughter and three rescue dogs.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Somewhere In The Woods

                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 A patient, a victorious mind,

That life and all things casts behind,
Springs forth obedient to Thy call;
A heart that no desire can move,
But still to adore, believe, and love,
Give me, my Lord, my Life, my All.
P. GERHARDT.

This is a time where everyone seems to be going on vacation. In fact, it seems that as soon as 2021 came around, people were heading off to somewhere. It didn't matter where that somewhere was as long as it was away from home. People spent time on the beaches, in the woods and going to different cities. After being in isolation the year before, one cannot blame them.

My idea of the perfect vacation is not as exciting. It's not even a particular location. My ideal vacation could easily be in any State. It is a place that everyone can claim that they know of just like it. 

All I want is solitude. A secluded place with a private cabin in a wooded area. May it be surrounded by trees, greenery, maybe even a brook or a lake. I want to hear birds singing, flowers blooming and the sounds of nature. Nothing else. There doesn't have to be any people or activities or any noise of city life. All I want is solitude and internet. I do need internet.

I've always wanted to go away to such a place all by myself and spend a month or more. It would be my spiritual retreat, but secretly, I would love to own such a place. Imagine living in such a place year round.

I believe that we face new chapters in our life all the time. They unfold in places and ways we cannot even predict. We are thrown into situations some of our own doing and some not. New things come and the old disappears. Life keeps moving, rotating from a new day to a new year to yet another chapter. 

The things that stay the same are the sanctuaries we create to keep within our hearts to revisit whenever life becomes a bit too much. We need to hope. We need to believe. We need to dream. We need that place, that somewhere that we can go to mentally if not physically to breathe. Where is your place? What does that look like to you? If you don't have that somewhere, create it. Embrace your somewhere.

Have a blessed day everyone.