My son has been gone from home now for 8 years and in that time he has lived in many places . I have spent many a weekends visiting him . We moms , never visit empty-handed , always bringing home cooked food , money {and in my case ) rolls of toilet paper , detergent ,trash bags .
On one such visit , I learned that someone in the family wanted to buy him a pair of pants . You would think what a very nice gesture that was......pants are not cheap . My son was flabbergasted . Buy him a pair of pants ?! Pants don't come in small , medium and large . They have to be tried on ......fitting a certain way .....they need to FEEL good not just LOOK good . Buying a man's pants is an intimate act . An act that needs to be done by the man himself .
As funny as this may sound , I believe he is right . As the days are fast approaching to my return to work , I'm in search of some feeling good , looking good pair of pants . This past Monday , I headed out to the stores to do just that praying the whole time that I can find a pair that actually fits .
When I got home , I anxiously tried on pants and tops I bought . I have to say I felt pretty good . It's amazing how good we feel when we purchase something new . We feel new , which is an illusion because we still are the same person . Yet , our whole attitude changes . How we see ourselves .
Suddenly , going back to work isn't as frightening . I'm not as worried as to what people will think of me .. .. . think of my weight gain .......how I look . Yeah , I feel pretty good . Now , where's those pants ?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Joey Trip Day 3
Joey Trip Day 3
- I went to bed last nite at like 6 pm when we got home from our day 2 adventure.I slept the entire night until 7 the next morning.Joey said I was passed out snoring away.The neighbors called to see what was the noise .
Well anyway,the day started with a a bible study.I have never been to an unisex one before.Then came church.I really liked his pastor.He knew every single person in church.He also stood out by the door after the service shaking everyone 's hand .But what I was most impressed with is their children ministry.
Afterwards,joey was invited to speak at a Baccaleaurate.I don't really know what that was about but it had something to do with the high school graduates from all the local churches.He did a speec h about them going out into the world and keeping their faith.If anyone knows exactly what that is please let me know.Probably Barb knows.
We had lunch and by then it was time to pack and go catch my train.The ride back was very uneventful and ahead of schedule by 25 minutes.I spent my ride back thinking and missing the little hometown where I just left.
Everytime I visit Joey I end up really like the small town atmosphere.I tell myself if Avon ever closed or moved I'm selling the house and moving out there like Clinton,Dolton or somewhere similiar.
So everyone that was my weekend and I hope all of you had a great one too.
Joey Trip Day 2
Joey Trip Day 2
- Its like 2:30 pm and already I'm exhausted .Joey and I went for a hike in the woods which reminded me very much of Ted's walk down to the beach! I'm not kidding.I almost died!!!!
Now I'm so tired and ready for a nap.We went around the lake and when we finally saw the finish line what was there to prevent us from crossing it? GEESE HISSING! WITH THEIR YOUNG! HISSING!We couldn't get through.Joey was very bold picking up a stick to chase them away but their necks get very long and stretched out when they Are ready to attack.
The geese won and we had to backtrack and go around.Nature always wins.I told him I never want to see this LAKE CLINTON again.Hey Lake Clinton!?Joey is like lets tell babcia we're on Lake Bush.
We had lunch at this pizza buffet place{sort of like CICI'S} and I had spaghetti and he had the pizza buffet.We went to Walmart and a grocery store called IGA'S.Bought this cute little sundress for Hannah and a wild T-shirt for Tim.Joey got a shirt too.
Right now we're at his office but we plan on going to see SHREK FOREVER!!!.Then its back home and a deserved NAP.
Last night we ended up playing games like BOGGLE,BATTLESHIP,CONNECT FOUR and SORRY.Hey I know why they call it SORRY because you never get to finish the stinking game!We just gave up.
I didn't say but I really love his apartment.Cute and adorable.Just right for one person.I want one just like this one.I also shouldn't say but Joey really doesn't know how to make coffee.You should have tasted what he made me the first time.No matter how much creamer you put in it, it was MUD.
He tried once more and this time it came out a little better but quite frankly I haven't had a good cup here yet----------------wait a minute,yes I did at AVANTI'S.
I did get a very,very ,extremely good foot rub last night! P.S.I used to get such lovely foot rubs and then he got married. Now he says I need permission from his wife !
Joey Trip Day 1
Sunday mornings , we are up early enjoying the warmth and laziness of our beds . The only day of the week reserved for church and sunday school , it's a day we spend as a family . Today , I'm thinking of my eldest , now a married man . There have been numerous weekends spent visiting him in his "bachelor " days . Let me share with you one of those weekends as my mind goes back..........
Joey Trip Day 1
Hi all !
My Joey trip started out in an unexpected rush.Henry called me like 5:38am wondering if I was ready to then.My train wasn't leaving until 9:25 am from Union station.I think he was up feeding Brianna then.
So we ended up getting there like 7:30am.Which was fine with me.The train left on time but we ended up stopping so many times that I was late 90 minutes!!!!!! First, it was other trains needing to pass by,then it was the signal not working,then we had engine troubles.......I could on and on.
But I didn't mind.I read a little,did some puzzles and looked out my window at God's Glory!!.We have such a beautiful ,beautiful world and we don't even appreciate it.I looked out the window and there in Pontiac,Illinois was there a huge huge black clouds overhead.It was coming down real hard and yet to me the sky looked so beautiful.The power of God was out there.I felt like I could reach out and touch those dark clouds.How powerful he is!!!!
When I finally got there I was very hungry so we ended up going to this place called AVANTI'S.Had a turkey sandwich and a cup of clam chowder soup.
Afterwards,we went to his church so I could look at their sunday school ministry for the children.They had a separate building with many classes with the pastors offices also being there.Each classroom had their own wall murial for the kids to draw on.
Need to go to walmart and get some supplies because the boy has no sugar! How am I to enjoy a cup of coffee? He wants to play trivia and family games at home in the evening and I want to go for a walk.Maybe we can do both!!!!
Until tomorrow people!
My Joey trip started out in an unexpected rush.Henry called me like 5:38am wondering if I was ready to then.My train wasn't leaving until 9:25 am from Union station.I think he was up feeding Brianna then.
So we ended up getting there like 7:30am.Which was fine with me.The train left on time but we ended up stopping so many times that I was late 90 minutes!!!!!! First, it was other trains needing to pass by,then it was the signal not working,then we had engine troubles.......I could on and on.
But I didn't mind.I read a little,did some puzzles and looked out my window at God's Glory!!.We have such a beautiful ,beautiful world and we don't even appreciate it.I looked out the window and there in Pontiac,Illinois was there a huge huge black clouds overhead.It was coming down real hard and yet to me the sky looked so beautiful.The power of God was out there.I felt like I could reach out and touch those dark clouds.How powerful he is!!!!
When I finally got there I was very hungry so we ended up going to this place called AVANTI'S.Had a turkey sandwich and a cup of clam chowder soup.
Afterwards,we went to his church so I could look at their sunday school ministry for the children.They had a separate building with many classes with the pastors offices also being there.Each classroom had their own wall murial for the kids to draw on.
Need to go to walmart and get some supplies because the boy has no sugar! How am I to enjoy a cup of coffee? He wants to play trivia and family games at home in the evening and I want to go for a walk.Maybe we can do both!!!!
Until tomorrow people!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
The Morning After
Remember the gluttony weekend ? Well , it's the morning after and I've been sick all week paying for it . Too much too soon . The eyes were bigger , much bigger , than the recovery . Secluding myself while the hangover of too much wore off , the world didn't stop turning . It kept on spinning . E-mails still kept rolling in ...all 238 of them . Haven't checked the voicemails yet . Housework piled up right along with the dishes . All my facebook games put on a shelf for a whole five days!!!! The requests , I don't even want to think about .
Was my gluttony weekend worth it ? I'm still asking myself that . In a few days , I might see things differently and give you a different answer . For now , I'm undecided because that Olive Garden was pretty darn great . The aftermath ? Wasn't .
While going through a difficult time we swear to never again but the minute things turn rosy ..........well , maybe . . . . just once .
In a way , It's the morning after in alot of things in my life . The morning after chemo .....after staying home for almost 6 months . ......after having my life put on hold . But these are good morning after things . Am I excited ? No , I'm scared . But it can only get better . I have to think of it as a brand new start and everyone always wants a new start , don't they ?
Was my gluttony weekend worth it ? I'm still asking myself that . In a few days , I might see things differently and give you a different answer . For now , I'm undecided because that Olive Garden was pretty darn great . The aftermath ? Wasn't .
While going through a difficult time we swear to never again but the minute things turn rosy ..........well , maybe . . . . just once .
In a way , It's the morning after in alot of things in my life . The morning after chemo .....after staying home for almost 6 months . ......after having my life put on hold . But these are good morning after things . Am I excited ? No , I'm scared . But it can only get better . I have to think of it as a brand new start and everyone always wants a new start , don't they ?
Friday, February 24, 2012
That Dreaded Journey
Drove in all that slush this morning to that dreaded appointment........my doctor's appointment . In the past 5 years I have made this journey countless of times . Never had I hated it as much as I do now . My stomache in knots . .. . my blood pressure high......stressed out beyond anything . Stopped for a coffee just to calm my nerves and my trembling belly . For sure I will vomit .
I know what is causing my anxiety . The unknown . Waiting for the other shoe to drop . When will that dreaded cancer come back again . Lord knows , I don't want to go through this yet again and I know I will have to .Is it even gone asleep for now . I have yet another appointment for another scan to determine that .
Will I be feeling this anxiety everytime I go for a checkup ? Will it ever ease up? Surely as time goes on my defenses will drop and I will relax ? All these questions are running through my head and I'm tired .
Even Linda has had enough already . Just saw her at our churches potluck dinner . She looked so very tired . Here I am complaining . At least , I am done with it for now . She is still going through treatment and she started way before me . She is stage 4 and she cries everytime she has to go .
Although , Linda has hair . She took off her wig and showed me her very dark hair .She went from blonde to dark and I was envious . . . .. in a good way . I want hair and I don't care what color it is . I just want hair .
I know what is causing my anxiety . The unknown . Waiting for the other shoe to drop . When will that dreaded cancer come back again . Lord knows , I don't want to go through this yet again and I know I will have to .Is it even gone asleep for now . I have yet another appointment for another scan to determine that .
Will I be feeling this anxiety everytime I go for a checkup ? Will it ever ease up? Surely as time goes on my defenses will drop and I will relax ? All these questions are running through my head and I'm tired .
Even Linda has had enough already . Just saw her at our churches potluck dinner . She looked so very tired . Here I am complaining . At least , I am done with it for now . She is still going through treatment and she started way before me . She is stage 4 and she cries everytime she has to go .
Although , Linda has hair . She took off her wig and showed me her very dark hair .She went from blonde to dark and I was envious . . . .. in a good way . I want hair and I don't care what color it is . I just want hair .
How Do I Do Sad ?
Do you have a someone who loves you regardless ? Someone whose love you never question . It is written on their every gesture , every expression , in their every fluid movement . I am not talking about a lover's love but of a love a person has for another being . It is a sexless love .
I visited one of my favorite people who loves me like that . She is a woman in her middle 80"s and I have known her since I was 7 years old . That's over 40 years .....40 years . She has always had vibrant red hair and has been wildly eccentric . To some people she may be viewed as a kooky old broad but to me she has always been magnificent .
As a child , I would visit her along with my mom . She would serve tea or coffee in the afternoon along with a cake of some sorts . I considered this highly grand ! There I sat next to her , eating my cake and drinking my tea , as she told story upon story of her life . From her capture by the Nazi and placed in a workers camp , to her marriage and motherhood . I couldn't get enough . To me , her life was exciting . To me , SHE was magnificent .
As I sat in her living room this week , I noticed she looked everyone of her 80 odd years . She is aging and I can't bear it . How do I do sad ? It is heartbreaking to me that this woman who has treated me better than a daughter , who has a special place in her heart just for me , who has never said an unkind word or reprimanded me . . . . . . . . . her health is failing .
She represents my childhood . She represents the good in my childhood . On her fingers she wears many rings but these rings are not of sapphire or diamond . No , her rings are colorful ,wild and eccentric like her . They are coral , opal , tigers eye , lapis .. . ......she gave me the tigers eye in memory of her . I wear it almost everyday . I am the daughter she always wanted .
I visited one of my favorite people who loves me like that . She is a woman in her middle 80"s and I have known her since I was 7 years old . That's over 40 years .....40 years . She has always had vibrant red hair and has been wildly eccentric . To some people she may be viewed as a kooky old broad but to me she has always been magnificent .
As a child , I would visit her along with my mom . She would serve tea or coffee in the afternoon along with a cake of some sorts . I considered this highly grand ! There I sat next to her , eating my cake and drinking my tea , as she told story upon story of her life . From her capture by the Nazi and placed in a workers camp , to her marriage and motherhood . I couldn't get enough . To me , her life was exciting . To me , SHE was magnificent .
As I sat in her living room this week , I noticed she looked everyone of her 80 odd years . She is aging and I can't bear it . How do I do sad ? It is heartbreaking to me that this woman who has treated me better than a daughter , who has a special place in her heart just for me , who has never said an unkind word or reprimanded me . . . . . . . . . her health is failing .
She represents my childhood . She represents the good in my childhood . On her fingers she wears many rings but these rings are not of sapphire or diamond . No , her rings are colorful ,wild and eccentric like her . They are coral , opal , tigers eye , lapis .. . ......she gave me the tigers eye in memory of her . I wear it almost everyday . I am the daughter she always wanted .
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