30 Days Of More : Living More

                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                             everyday is a journey.


Come hither, lads, and harken,

For a tale there is to tell

Of the wonderful days a-coming,

When all shall be better than well.

Come, then, let us cast off fooling,

And put by ease and rest,

For the cause alone is worthy

Till the good days bring the best.

—William Morris

Living life more. Just three little words and yet, I struggle with what that truly means to me. To the average person, it represents spending time with friends and family. It means travelling and enjoying everything on the bucket list. Everyone has their own version of what living life more means to them.

Quite honestly, my life has been spent doing for others, I really don't know how to do for me. I know that the time will come where I will be by myself. I can't even picture that in my mind. It always has been plus one, so trying to select a way of life without the plus one is hard.

So what does it mean to me?

I guess doing the simple every day kind of things that I enjoy like crocheting, reading and feeling the sunshine on my face. I'm not big on making a bucket list a mile long and trying to accomplish it before I die. My living life is just being able to embrace the life I have.

My life needs to have a sense of purpose, a sense of organization and a busyness to it. The more on my plate the better. The more items I can crochet the better. The more charities I can donate to the better. Honestly, the more of what I do now. That to me is living life more. I just want to do more. Be more. Make a more of difference to others and here on Earth. That's what living life more means to me. 

So how do I do that? So how do I live more? I have to be bold and quite frankly, that has never been my strong suit. Just the thought freaks me out. All my insecurities come to the surface and doubt along with fear, run rampant, Breathe in, breathe out.

Have a blessed day everyone.

30 Days Of More: More Of Him

                                    Everyday is a brand new day,
                                    everyday is a journey.  

Dost thou ask when comes His hour?
    Then, when it shall aid thee best.
  Trust His faithfulness and power,
    Trust in Him, and quiet rest.
ANON.

In my journey as a Christian, I have seen my thirst for learning as much as I can about Christ, deepen as the years passed. I think this happens to all of us. We begin as baby Christians, all full of excitement and we are eager to begin that Bible study or serve in any capacity. We want to develop into better Christians and we willingly offer our time to the Church. We have a new found love and thirst for knowing Jesus more.

 As years pass, we keep on learning and growing in our faith. I should say, some of us. The people that began the journey with me, not many of them are still here. Somewhere along the way, perhaps during a trial of theirs, they fell off. Or their journey ended and began somewhere else in a place unknown to me. Who is to say whether they picked it up once again or not. Definitely shouldn't be me.

All I know is that I want to know more, be more and definitely do more. I want more of Him.

I have read of many great preachers and teachers of the word, all claiming they spend time in the morning with Jesus before doing anything else. Males seem to favor the closet for some reason, but not us women. We choose a beautiful spot in the garden, on a terrace or at least have a nice scenery to look at through the window. That is something I've always wanted to experience, but quite never got there. It would begin, but never lasted long enough to become a habit. Some habits are good for us.

I began journaling as a way to de-stress of everyday living, but I quickly realized that the journal became a prayer journal for others. I found myself praying for everyone I knew needed prayers. It started out so insignificantly small with a prayer request from a friend, then another and another. Now I find myself praying daily in that journal.

When I am unable to pray, I write down my reflections on a particular part of a devotion. I find my time each morning spent this way to be extremely relaxing and I look forward to it. Of course, there are days where I cannot find a moment to sit down with my journaling. There might be a dentist appointment or grocery shopping to do, just living an ordinary life. It's there sitting on my desk waiting for me. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

30 Days Of More: Encourages Wanted!

                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Truly God follows us with encouragements: 
let him not lose his blessing upon us! 
They come in season, and with all the
 advantages of heartening, as if God should say, "
Up and be doing, and I will stand by you and help you!" 
There is nothing to be feared but our own sin and sloth.
—Oliver Cromwell

The one thing that I think we are sorely needing nowadays are encouragers. People no longer encourage, nurture or even embrace the responsibility of a Christian to be the cheerleader in someone's life. I cannot tell you how many times any idea of mine or goal has been dampened by someone's ill advised words.

What? That's so stupid. Forget about it. Why would you do that? You want to do what?

Or a time where maybe I needed comfort only to be the one doing the comforting. There is always someone out there worse off than you, isn't there? Everyone needs an encouraging word or a hug or just a listening ear. If everyone out there listened to all these naysayers, we wouldn't have any kind of inventions. We would still be in the cave trying to stay warm for lack of a fire.

The world needs encouragers now more than ever. I want to be an encourager and try to do so, especially when speaking to a young person. They are so full of spirit and newness, ready to embrace life. So why do we feel we need to distinguish that fire in them? Why distinguish any person's fire at all?

I think it all boils down to envy. People are not happy for other's good fortune. Instead, they wonder why not me? I should have won that prize or had that happen to me. I deserve it more than that person. Envy ruins relationships faster than anything else.

 So how can we become better encouragers? I googled that exact sentence and many different websites appeared all offering the same bits of advice. It's all kind of basic and common sense really, but I will tell you what has worked for me.

1. We should congratulate people on any good fortune befallen to them even if your heart is not in it. The more we do it, the more it will become a natural thing to do. I've started this years ago and I do it now without thinking.
2. We need to pray for people even the ones we do not like. I have to admit it was especially hard for me to do so. I could pray for family and friends, but not those mean people. Well, I've started a prayer journal at the beginning of the year and I will one day be proficient in this area too. Just pray, pray, pray and keep on praying.
3. Why does it even matter? Jesus said that if we do not love other people, we don't love Him. That's enough for me to keep trying in bettering myself so I can help others. 
4. We can make a choice here and choose to be encouragers and perhaps grow as a nation, a culture, a body of believers. We can choose to do something good or choose to do something bad. Which would you rather be? I want to be known as someone that has inspired others to be better. When I get to Heaven, I want to meet the people in whom I've planted a seed. Lord, help me grow so I can be an encourager to others.

Have a blessed day everyone.

30 Days Of More: Putting On The Blinders

                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




Leave God to order all thy ways,
    And hope in Him, whate'er betide;
  Thou 'It find Him in the evil days
    Thy all-sufficient strength and guide;
  Who trusts in God's unchanging love,
  Builds on the rock that nought can move.
G. NEUMAR

In today's society, it's almost impossible to hide away from all the ads that are thrown at us from every angle. There are messages playing it's course everywhere. They are on our phones when we try to call our friends and family. They advertise all over social media, television and cable. We can't even drive without constantly being confronted with some sort of signage.

The lure of the visual is extremely powerful. We see things that appear delicious and inviting, desiring it, especially if we see others with it. If we want to stay focused on our goals that we have been working on, we need to put on the blinders. This way we only see what is in front of us (the goal) instead of being easily distracted by all the noise of merchandising and marketing. Deep down inside we know what is good for us and what isn't, but it's the temptation, that irresistible lure that sways us.

Sometimes, it's the people that can be the temptation. I cannot tell you how many times I have been confronted by friends or co-workers with "suggestions" of ways that would be so much better for me. Get this, do this, be this way. It would make your life so much easier. Stop with this Ministry thing. You need to go out more. Drink more. Party more. Be more.

How would these people know what is better for me? Just think about it, it does make sense. They are not in my home, walking in my shoes. They have no idea about my needs nor those of the people closest to me. We need to sometimes stop looking to other people, wrong people, that do not have our best interests at heart. You want to look to someone, look to God for guidance.

 There are more people out there doing the wrong thing than there are doing right. The blinders are set in place not to deter us, but to deter others away from us. Remember what we have to do as Christians by putting on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:14) and that includes the blinders. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

30 Days Of More: Trust And Faith

                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




How couldst thou hang upon the cross,
  To whom a weary hour is loss?
  Or how the thorns and scourging brook,
  Who shrinkest from a scornful look?
J. KEBLE.

We as Christians love to throw out words like trust and faith into every problematic situation. Just have more faith or have more trust in God. We love saying that, but are we walking the walk with what we are preaching? Do we have the kind of faith and trust that we tell others about? Declaring something and actually doing it are two separate things altogether.

I believe that we as Christians do have some level of trust and faith in God, we just need a bit more. I am always amazed at people who are filled to the top, actually brimming, with trust for God. They just know that things will turn out good no matter how tough the circumstances. They know it. They believe it deeply. Their faith is so strong, no one can shake them. Job was such a man. I want to be such a woman.

So how do we get that kind of faith and trust? We have to go through the fire. We have to experience the raw pain, the uncertainty, the heartbreaking devastation of living life. There's no way around it. We are not born with trust and faith, we have to acquire it.

When I was receiving all the care from my Oncology Team, I had tons of Faith and trust in God. It was easy, everything was approved and the more tests were done, the more I felt safe. Take away the more and I could almost hear God whispering to me, how much do you trust me now?

In the Bible, there are many instances where our trust in God was tested. Just look at Gideon and his 300 men (Judges 7). God took his entire army and left him with only 300 men to face his enemy. How well do you trust me Gideon?

When Moses parted the Red Sea, imagine the trust and faith it took for the Israelites to cross it (Exodus 14). I'm sure there was a bit of fear in thinking that perhaps the Sea would close them in. Yet, they did cross it successfully.

These are just two examples, but the Bible is full of such events where trust and faith were tested. We are so afraid of what we do not know. We fear that the pain will be so great that we will never get through it. How many times have feared something so badly that our anxiety went through the roof only to realize it was more in our head than in truth. We fear the unknown so much that we fail to realize that it could be the best thing for us.

So I guess, in a way, I have my answer. Through the fire I go.

Have a blessed day everyone.

30 Days Of More: What Do You Want?

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


One lesson, and only one, history may
be said to repeat with distinctness; 
that the world is built somehow on moral foundations;
 that in the long run, it is well with the good
; in the long run it is ill with the wicked.
—James Anthony Froud

Before we go any further, I think I need to state something here. I do want material things just like everyone else. I want a nice home in a nice neighborhood. I want to furnish it with nice things. There is nothing wrong with wanting more of things. Nothing. We all work hard and should reward ourselves for doing so.

It's the excessiveness of too much of the more that is the problem. We try way too hard to keep up with all the latest gadgets, big and small. It's safe to say that we all pretty much know what we want even if it isn't good for us. We just keep accumulating and accumulating more.

What is it that I want?

 It may be hard to believe, but I am pretty simple. My idea of grandeur is nothing compared to most people. I don't need much, because only a couple of things are important to me like books and crocheting. When it comes to these items, I want more and more of them. Everything else is just for existing like a bed or a table. It doesn't have to be fancy, just nice enough.

My needs have certainly changed with each decade. I can remember a time where I loved to accumulate things like shoes. I had over 33 pairs of shoes once. Can you believe that? I liked large houses, the hubbub of the city and my wish list was longer than Santa's Workshop. I would look at magazines and dream of one day having enough money to purchase these things. I can't even imagine living like that now.

Our needs change and what I wanted ten years or twenty years ago has changed drastically. I am happy with one good pair of shoes for work, one for going out and one for Winter. I have no desire for a large home nor do I want to spend time cleaning it! Give me the simple pleasures of living life well in peace and nature. Breathe in and breathe out, living my best life.

Have a blessed day everyone

30 Days Of More: The End

                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Small service is true service while it lasts
:Of humblest friends scorn not one:
The daisy, by the shadow it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun.

—William Wordsworth.

The end of 2019 left a bitter pill for me to swallow. For the past two years, I have been dealing with a new insurance carrier that would not approve any of my Ct. scans or Petscans. My Oncologist would set up new appointments for a scan and list all the reasons behind it to no avail. The Insurance carrier would not budge. Their final assessment always ended with the same sentence: No probable cause found for a Petscan or Ct.scan. What?

No probable cause? I have a recurrent carcinoma, stage 3 ovarian cancer. I am a four time cancer survivor spanning twelve years. No probable cause? Are you kidding me? On the outside, I wrote a few posts commenting here and there on my blog, acting nonchalant about the entire experience. On the inside, I was fuming! I was left feeling angry, disappointed and disillusioned about the need for insurance in the first place. This insurance was useless to me and I felt they were taking my money without any gain to me. I might as well not even have insurance.

I must clarify that for the twelve years with cancer, I followed a very strict routine set by my Oncology Team. Every three months, like clockwork, I would have a Ct. scan or Petscan, lab work and a visit with my Oncologist. If anything turned up positive for cancer growth, we would start the treatment immediately happy to have caught it early. If everything was fine, I strolled off into the sunset feeling safe and secure until the next scheduled appointment.

There was a strong sense of security in that routine and one that I miss terribly. That was my more and without it I felt vulnerable.  I may have complained at times at always going to the hospital for an appointment, but I liked it. The more tests were done, the safer I felt. The more treatment I received, the stronger I felt. I didn't worry about my cancer, because I had an entire team keeping me healthy and alive. That's huge. Who wouldn't want that?

Then suddenly, the rug of safety and security is pulled from under me. That security blanket is snatched away and my more is gone. Nowadays, they just do a physical and some labs, that's it. That is my entire more. No more Ct. scans. No more Petscans. No more every three months. In fact, the majority of the Oncology Team is brand new. What do they know of the more that I need?

Have a blessed day everyone.