Worldly Wealth vs. Spiritual Wealth PT.2

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I am glad to think
I am not bound to make the world go right;
But only to discover and to do,
With cheerful heart, the work that God appoints.
I will trust in Him,
That He can hold His own; and I will take
His will, above the work He sendeth me,
To be my chiefest good.
J. INGELOW.

I often wondered why did it take me so long to figure out what was the most important time to change priorities of my life. Why couldn't I see then what I see now? 

I wish I could say that my cancer brought about an instant overnight change in my life. The truth is, it became a slow process like a journey I've never been on before. All I knew was that God saved me for a reason. I should have been dead and instead He saved me for a purpose. I was so afraid that I would miss that purpose. 

It was that fear that propelled me to go to Church every Sunday, join a Bible study and learn the Word of God. Somewhere in those pews where I sat, something wonderful happened within my heart. A few years earlier, I accepted Christ, but I didn't accept Him 100%. I made excuses for my behavior.  You know, I would go to Church if there was one near me. So God opened one near me. God called my bluff and saved me. Now I had to keep my end and show Him things would be different. 

Treasures in Heaven

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Matthew 6:19-24

This May, it will be ten years since I decided to take God on that journey. Like I said, it didn't happen overnight. I started a blog, a Crocheting Ministry, kept a 30 day journal on simplicity, faced cancer three mores times and here we are. Ten years of choosing to leave behind the worldly goods and opting for God instead. I have more now than I ever had in all those younger years where I hoarded looking to acquire stuff to make me feel complete. Instead, I shed some extra unnecessary baggage, baggage that was weighing me down. 

I look forward to my senior years where simplicity will play an even bigger role in my life. It's not things that make me happy. I don't need hings, I need Him!

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Worldly Wealth vs. Spiritual Wealth PT.1

 

                                                Everyday is a brand new day,

                                                        everyday is a journey.

 

  I have always been a person who wanted to know more. I was never satisfied with a simple answer of "because I said so" or "that's the way life is". I wanted to learn as much as I could while I was here on this Earth. It's almost funny how much we change as we become older. The things we enjoyed as young blooded adults are completely opposite to where we are now. Things we desired and fought for, no longer hold appeal. With that in mind, it's no surprise that my desires have changed so drastically.

Nothing could have been more truer in that respect when I was a small girl. I wanted things in grandeur style. I believe that stemmed from not having much as a child. We were new immigrants from a communist country and I desperately wanted to fit in. I wanted a grand home with a wrap around porch. I wanted many children. I wanted a huge car. I even wanted to work in a hi-rise building. I had huge desires and dreams. I would pour over magazines, circling in red pen all the things I would buy when I became an adult. I would save stacks of magazines and catalogs that I would pour over dreaming of that day. My brothers had a blast making fun of me and occasionally still bring it up.

My view really wasn't different from everyone else while growing up. We all dreamed big, didn't we? I compared my successes in life by what I owned. The bigger and more expensive the item, the more successful I felt. In that instance, size did matter to me. Everything had to be grand and massive. I owned 32 pairs of shoes! I wanted one of every shape and color. I wanted it all. In my mind, I thought that acquiring worldly wealth was all that life was about. Isn't that what they call the "American Dream"?

How much time is spent in shopping? Or in hobbies? Or in making money? We need to ask ourselves what am I here for and what do I want to accomplish? It's funny how these questions would have different answers all based on my age  when asked. Life just became simpler as I aged. In all this time, I believe that my life really didn't change, but I've changed and the way I dealt with it.


Over the years, I've turned away from worldly treasures that obviously brought me zero happiness and ran straight towards spiritual fulfillment. It didn't happen overnight. It slowly developed over a few years before I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. That diagnosis changed everything in my life and for that reason, I will always be thankful for my cancer. It woke me up to the real purpose in my life.

To be continued. . . 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

The End Of The Week

                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                            everyday is a journey.


I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! Yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God, can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

--Edgar Allan Poe.

The end of the work week is here. I should be elated and thrilled, but right now, it's just another day. I found that whenever we have a busy weekend ahead, we don't really have a relaxed mind on Fridays. Instead, our energy levels are steeped with full throttle ahead. 

The weird thing? I'm actually looking forward to it. Looking forward to seeing my Ministry ladies. Looking forward to packaging up some of these deliveries that have taken over my bedroom and kitchen. Looking forward to getting my bedroom back. So I don't mind if it ends up being busy and I don't have time to lounge in my pajamas. 

I do understand that some of you may have had a very difficult week and are extremely looking forward to doing nothing, but relaxing. I do hope you find that rest.  

Rest is something I have struggled with over the years. I always felt guilt for taking a day or two to simply do nothing, but lounge. In my family, we have been brought up to work, always keeping busy. My parents worked and in their free time, they entertained. I cannot ever remember seeing them just doing nothing. My mom would spend hours in her garden every single day. Keeping busy has always been a way of life in my family.

Sounds silly, doesn't it? Feeling guilty for resting, but it's true. It's taken me a long time to accept that rest is vital to our well being both mentally and physically. I can't be at my best without rest. I can't do what I love most if I'm too tired to do it. So no matter what kind of weekend you may have planned, I hope there some time set aside for something so simple as rest. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Path Of Life

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.


So long as we love we serve; 
so long as we are loved by others 
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
 and no man is useless while he has a friend.
--Robert L. Stevenson.

Where are we going and what are we going to do there once we get there? People have been pondering that question for decades after decades. Everyone is searching for a path in life, a path to live a purposeful life. Am I living that purposeful life? I'd like to think so, but I know I could be doing so much more.

Emily on the other hand, thinks I need to stop adding more activities and responsibilities. She feels that I can barely keep up with all I have on my plate now. This idea of a Chronic Illness Group is not sitting well with her at all. 

"And exactly how do you plan on doing all this?"

I don't feel it's too much. I don't look at my full plate and see bitterness at having all these responsibilities.  I love being active in serving others. I wish I could spend my entire day focused on issues such as these. I wish we didn't need money to live on, so I could devote my time in other ways. 

Take today, for instance. We have spent the day running around full throttle. My Ministry met this past weekend, so I had quite a bit of crocheted items to wash, prep and pack for delivery. When the boxes were loaded up in my car, I looked around my kitchen satisfied. These empty boxes have stood in my kitchen for almost two months waiting to be filled. Sometimes, they blocked my movement in that kitchen, but I loved seeing them fill up with goodies for charitable organizations. That brings me joy.

Was I busy? Yes. Was my plate over brimming at times? Yes. Was I tired? Yes. Yet, the joy I felt afterwards covered and then some all of the above. It's like a mother being in labor and finally giving birth. She never holds onto that pain, because the joy in her arms was worth it. That's how I feel about my Ministries. It's all worth it. 

So how do I plan on making time for it? I'm just going to do it! I have complete faith in God and His ability to make it happen. The ideas are already forming within my mind as to the how. Everything will be just fine.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Apartment Living

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



For all sweet and pleasant passages in the great story of life men may well thank God; for leisure and ease and health and friendship may God make us truly and humbly grateful; but our chief song of thanksgiving must be always for our kinship with him, with all that such divinity of greatness brings of peril, hardship, toil, and sacrifice.
--Hamilton Mabie.

I've always been a home owner until the year 2011. Ever since then, the world of apartment living has been my domain. There are many positives and negatives to living in an apartment. Here are some observations I have made in the last several years. 

POSITIVE
1. Yard work
I do not miss shoveling snow in the Winter. We all love the first snow day and eagerly go outside with our shovels to clear the paths while our children make snowmen. Any snow that comes after that, we groan and moan s we head out that door. The same applies for raking, mowing or any other outside maintenance. I appreciate that someone maintains these chores. 

2. Maintenance Inside
When something breaks down, all I have to do is call a landlord to fix it. I do not have to worry about looking for a repairman. I expect it to be done as part for paying my rent. 

3. Neighbors
Some of the best people I've met came from being my neighbors. When I went through treatment, I cannot tell you how many times they brought supper over for Emily and myself. Or how many times they offered to do my laundry or bring my grocery shopping. I don't have problems with neighbors. We all can be loud or rude. We all leave the door open. None of us are the perfect neighbor. It's all about how we treat one another. 

NEGATIVE
1. Maintenance Inside
I've listed this under both positive and negative. Just because we call the landlord, it doesn't mean the problem will get fixed. It all depends on the landlord. 

2. The Landlord
I've yet to see the perfect landlord. I, myself have had three, but I've also asked friends and family for reports on their landlords. For some reasons, all landlords think they can fix things themselves when they cannot. 

Some take several hours and even days to fix something minor like replacing a toilet pump/chain. This incident, he used a paperclip that worked for only a week. Another, told me to tap on the side and top of the stove in hopes of un-sticking the igniter to light. Usually the latter are the ones who attache the door on their hinges the wrong way and then blame the manufacturer for the malfunction. 

Some landlords came over almost every day, knocking on your door for every excuse. Others were the opposite with multiple cancellations before he finally showed up. Even then, he would rush out the door with promises of coming back tomorrow to finish the job. He never showed. If there was a lamp in the dumpster, one of my landlords could tell you what apartment it came from. Creepy, huh? 

I am not kidding, all of this has happened. So you can see my frustrations with landlords. The place I'm in now, I hope to stay until my retirement and then , I plan on being my own landlord. Every time, I look at that sink that leaks or that door that still has no lock on it. I think to myself, it's like being married to a man who never cleans out that garage. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A 24 Hour Thing

                                                        Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

Last week, I had a 24 hour virus thingy that surprised me. I do not get sick, period. It's been so long since I had a cold or a flu or a virus of any kind. I'm not exactly sure why. It could be that my eating healthy boosts my immune system. Or perhaps the flu shot helps. I always laugh that with all the chemo and radiation inside of me has killed everything. 

Anyway, you could imagine my surprise when I didn't feel well one day last week before work. I thought that my stomach cramps might be gas or just something not agreeing with me that I've eaten. I bought some Sprite and headed out to work. 

Well, I can tell you that I spent an agonizing 2 1/2 hours running back and forth to the bathroom. I've felt so nauseous as if everything would come up without warning. I tried to induce vomiting on my own hoping to feel better. When it finally happened, it didn't help, but made it worse.The cramps became more painful. It was time to go home. 

I don't think I could have stunned my management more if I tried by opting to go home. In my 22 years, I've gone home only once and that was during a cancer treatment. 

My home is about ten to fifteen minutes away from work and that's during rush hour. I had to pull over by the local Liquor Barn, which was full by the way and everything inside me came up several times over. I must have looked a sight, heaving at the liquor store like a drunk. Came home, threw up again and went to sleep.

When I tell people that story, they double over in laughter. It's funny now, but it wasn't then. For the next several days, my tummy felt very queasy. Back to my BRAT diet until I felt better. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Four Generations

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


Heaven stands open to me,
 my Lord, 
in these deep and holy words. 
Through the open door I see
 the source of the golden light
 that shone around 
Thy earthly life,
and detect the secret of the music
that ever sounded around Thy path, 
as the music of the golden bells
 when Aaron passed to and fro.
Anon


Recently, I've had the pleasure of having lunch with my mom, my niece and her son. Four generations spending time together. I've noticed a few things, we are a lot alike. We're loud, we talk over each other and our mannerisms live on on even if we don't look like one another.

When we took a picture of our luncheon, I realized that we no longer were a five generational family living. Grandmother's Bernice death in October changed all that. She has been around for so long, it seems strange not to have her here. I could not have a conversation with my mom without hearing about Grandma. She lived a full life and left a large legacy behind.

                          Kathy, myself and mom.

                            Kathy's Kai.

                     My favorite picture of grandma Bernice.

The generational shift has occurred with my mom at the head of that family tree. The next Queen Bee, Mary. The circle of life continues. The names may have changed, but the characteristics continue on into the new generation.

Have a blessed day everyone.