End Of The Month

August began in anticipation of a new life in the form of a baby boy . Little did we know that he would make us wait until nearly at month's end . Kai came into this world on his terms , not ours .

August held many births and beginnings . I joined a Chronic Illness Support Group . Emily went from Register Girl to teacher in Sunday School , a Greeter and Resource Center desk volunteer . A crocheting club was formed and a blog revived .

August held a surprise or two , with my chemo treatments being extended once again and my boss complimenting me on a job well done . The latter more of a shocker than surprise .

August was a slow month at work with two company shutdown days . We haven't had any of those in two years . There were many  a long , boring , slow nights at work .

August was a month of organizations and lists . A schedule was made and so far maintained , to fit our  busy lifestyle . Slow at work / busy at home . The minor vehicle repair checklist was completed . Closets were cleaned out and room was made for new outfits . Care packages were made and sent out to Poland .

August was a month filled with  Church activities . There were three prayer walks , a volunteer appreciation BBQ , a potluck dinner , a two day spiritual gift class , Awanna training , a volunteer expo and Sunday School training /meeting .

August also held sad moments like when my friend / mentor came visiting from Texas and we couldn't get together due to a busy schedule on both sides . There were health issues with Linda not feeling well at all this month . The third cancer musketeer , Doug , had a blood clot in his leg .

August had a lot of ups and downs , but I'm looking forward to September and the cooler air .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Simply Life

If you ask any individual what they desire more than anything in life , I bet their answer will be to live in peace and serenity . We all strive to achieve the perfect harmony in our life . Sometimes , we even pretend that we have it .

Why is it so difficult to achieve ? I believe because we are looking for instant happiness  . A little pill that can transform our dreary , broken heart into an instant rose colored glasses outlook . That's why new age religion is so appealing to people . . . . instant gratification .

I can remember my mentor relating how she first accepted Christ . In her darkest hour , she ran out into the street in the middle of the night crying to God to help her somehow if He truly was there . The same week , she received in the mail an invite to our Church .

The moment she cried out to Him , God didn't snap His fingers and her life became instant happiness , but He did provide her with His protection  and strength towards that goal . Now , almost seven years later , God is still providing her with the tools she needs to overcome any obstacles in her life .

Peace and harmony isn't something we can get for free , we have to do the work . If we want to move forward , free from all the chains that bind us , we have to clean out that closet first . All we have to do is cry out to the Lord , " HELP US " , and let Him equip us with what we need to live in peace and serenity .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Crocheting Ministry Club

When I was a baby Christian , I had a real hard time believing people when they would say God spoke to them . I would wonder just how God spoke to them . How did they know it was from God ? I just couldn't understand what that entailed or what form it took place .

Over the past few years , as I grew in the Bible , so did my understanding . I believe that God approaches each of us in different ways . It could be in a dream , an intuition or series of events or other ways .

For me , it always starts with an idea and I may write about it or mention it to someone . Suddenly , this idea develops a life of it's own and grows beyond my expectations . I have no control over how quickly it spreads .

This is what happened with The Crocheting Ministry Club . I had an idea and I shared it here on this blog . Now , God knows that I am a procrastinator , so He took matters into His own hands .  

People started coming up to me , wanting to know when and where this club was meeting . My plans involved this club opening up in the Fall and not now in the Summer , but so many people approached me that I knew it was  a God thing . I knew , I had to get a move on with this club . . . . God was speaking .

So here I am , with a crocheting club , meeting at my small apartment . I have two seamstresses sewing baby receiving blankets , two  young girls aged eleven  and seven women crocheting away ! Plus , more promising to show up !

So what is my problem ? I'm scared , folks , scared , because the yarn is almost gone . How am I going to keep all of them stocked ? I got down on my knees and prayed . Lord ,  help me .

God has spoken , so I must continue on this journey wherever He is leading me on . I have no idea where it will take me . Or how I will get there , but God has spoken  and I must follow . Can you here Him ?

Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Birth Of Me

Cancer is all around us . Every single one of us has a friend , a sister , a mother , a co-worker or a child with some sort of cancer . Cancer has become the new " Aids " of this generation . As more and more I learn of my friends with cancer , I see devastation and sorrow on their faces and within their hearts . Their pain is raw , unforgiving and relentless . Not quite believing that this could happen to them .

 

It has been six and a half years since I have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3 . I have fought this monster three times and each time a new " me " emerged . Since that faithful day in 2007 , my life has been transformed where I became aware of this so called life and the people in it .

 

I really had no experience with cancer or what it could do to a person . When I learned of my own diagnosis , I reacted the same as I did with any difficult crisis in my life .

 

" Well , okay , we'll go in there  and have the surgery . Do my chemotherapy and I should be back at work within three months ."

 

To say that I was immature is an understatement . It was a very long and slow process , but here I am . As I went through this journey , something inside of me was bursting forth  to emerge from these ashes . I realized that life is fleeting and it can be gone in a blink . Suddenly , I was asking myself questions regarding a relationship with God , with people and myself . How do I want to spend my remaining years ? Who am I really ? What is that life I'm meant to be living ?

 

It all began with a blog I wrote , an idea  I formed and a gift basket of yarn from a reader . Who knew I had all this inside of me ? God knew and had complete faith in me to live the life I was meant to live  as a servant of His . Many times I reflect on the past and wonder how much different it would be if I actually opened my heart  to God the first time I ever walked into a Christian Church at the age of 19 yrs.

 

Regrets ? I have plenty , but it is experience that makes us who we are today . I needed to live to be reborn . I like the person I have become and the stage of life where I am . Cancer may have changed my life , but it doesn't define who I am in it .

 

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Where Am I ?

Lately , the burning question of my health status is on everyone's mind . Where am I at regarding my health ?

Well , my health status hasn't really changed at all since the last time we spoke . This is the first time that my treatment has become an ongoing one  and that has everyone concerned .

In the past , I would undergo my six treatments and end up in remission immediately after . That is not the case anymore and that has people wondering something is going on .

We have to remember that my cancer only grew three centimeters and that is the normal size of growth for me . I think that because I have regular , scheduled appointments and tests , any irregularity is taken cared of right away .

This time around , my growth is only diminishing a centimeter at a time and at the moment it happens to be 1 1/2 centimeters . I think of this time as preventive medicine . I might never be done , but will continue taking preventive medication so it doesn't get out of control . This is just a thought .

The problem seems to be with my appearance , because I don't look like I have cancer . My hair didn't fall out this time , my weight is just fine . I look healthy and that has everyone thinking that I'm cured .

The picture of a thin , fragile , bald person with cancer who spends most of their time in the bathroom vomiting , doesn't exist anymore . The advances they have made with treatment allows people to look totally opposite that image and actually permits people to live out their life .

So where am I at ? Although , physically I'm still undergoing treatment , my mind is in perfect alliance with God . I love this stage of my life and try very hard not to focus all my energies on my cancer , but try to divert them by involving myself in servitude .
That's where I am at . Where are you at ?

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Hello Kai

A few days ago , Kathy gave birth to a son named Kai Avery and I fell in love .

I held him . I smelled him . I caressed him . I whispered to him .

He has awakened a desire deep inside of me that I thought was long buried . I love children and they seem to reciprocate the feeling . I think this passion I share for them exists because of my past .

You see , I never had my last child , or the experience of having my last child . My second and fourth child , both sons , never lived past the age of five months and one month . Since then , I literally melt when I see a baby .

So after meeting Kai for the first time , I went home and sent pleading messages to my two adults children to provide me with a wee baby grandchild . Of course , I got the usual " someday " remark I always get which sent me into a pouting , angry mood .

" What are they waiting for ? For me to die ? I'm on borrowed time as it is ! "

As usual , God has a way of bringing me down to really count my Blessings . During my Devotions , I came across a story of a woman who never had children after countless years of trying .
Do I need to say more ?

I am so very Blessed ! I've had the joy of having four children , two of which grew into adulthood . I have many  and I mean many nieces and nephews . I serve as a Sunday School teacher surrounded by little ones . Young adults see me as their second mom seeking advice from me . What more could I possibly want ?

It is very selfish of me to behave in this manner when so many have never experienced as much as I have . God Bless Devotionals and God Bless Kai !

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Simply Wine

To say that I love wine is an understatement , but it wasn't always the case . Alcohol of any kind never suited  my palate . I'm not exactly sure if it was my illness or Kathy's winemaking , but during these past few years , I can't get enough of red wine .


Now . . . . . . before I go on , this isn't an advertisement for excessive drinking  or addiction . In fact , too much of anything isn't good for us . Here's a few facts on alcohol and what it does to us if we drink excessively .

 

Every so often , when I'm off from work , I enjoy a glass . I'm not much of a drinker and that glass will last me all day , but somehow , it hits the spot just right .

 

 After doing some more research , I understood why that was true . Wine has many benefits regarding your heart , blood pressure  and stroke . No wonder , since my chemo has a tendency to affect my blood pressure .

 

If you have a minute , read on for more benefits regarding drinking a glass of wine . All in moderation , folks , all in moderation .

The Benefit: Promotes Longevity
The Evidence: Wine drinkers have a 34 percent lower mortality rate than beer or spirits drinkers. Source: a Finnish study of 2,468 men over a 29-year period, published in the Journals of Gerontology, 2007.
The Benefit: Reduces Heart-Attack Risk
The Evidence: Moderate drinkers suffering from high blood pressure are 30 percent less likely to have a heart attack than nondrinkers. Source: a 16-year Harvard School of Public Health study of 11,711 men, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, 2007.
The Benefit: Lowers Risk of Heart Disease
The Evidence: Red-wine tannins contain procyanidins, which protect against heart disease. Wines from Sardinia and southwest France have more procyanidins than other wines. Source: a study at Queen Mary University in London, published in Nature, 2006.
The Benefit: Reduces Risk of Type 2 Diabetes
The Evidence: Moderate drinkers have 30 percent less risk than nondrinkers of developing type 2 diabetes. Source: research on 369,862 individuals studied over an average of 12 years each, at Amsterdam's VU University Medical Center, published in Diabetes Care, 2005.
The Benefit: Lowers Risk of Stroke
The Evidence: The possibility of suffering a blood clot–related stroke drops by about 50 percent in people who consume moderate amounts of alcohol. Source: a Columbia University study of 3,176 individuals over an eight-year period, published in Stroke, 2006.
The Benefit: Cuts Risk of Cataracts
The Evidence: Moderate drinkers are 32 percent less likely to get cataracts than nondrinkers; those who consume wine are 43 percent less likely to develop cataracts than those drinking mainly beer. Source: a study of 1,379 individuals in Iceland, published in Nature, 2003.
The Benefit: Cuts Risk of Colon Cancer
The Evidence: Moderate consumption of wine (especially red) cuts the risk of colon cancer by 45 percent. Source: a Stony Brook University study of 2,291 individuals over a four-year period, published in the American Journal of Gastroenterology, 2005.
The Benefit: Slows Brain Decline
The Evidence: Brain function declines at a markedly faster rate in nondrinkers than in moderate drinkers. Source: a Columbia University study of 1,416 people, published in Neuroepidemiology,