Winter Wonderland

 

                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

He leads me where the waters glide,

 The waters soft and still, 

And homeward He will gently guide

 My wandering heart and will.
J. KEBLE

I've always loved a good Winter scene, especially the very first one of the season. In my mind, I imagined a real blizzard. I would be sitting at home where it was comfy and warm while the blizzard came down heavily. More like lounging on the couch crocheting away the night. That's how the scene unfolded in my imagination. 

Reality was different. That first blizzard always happened while I was at work and I would have to trudge carefully on the road, holding tightly onto the steering wheel. There would be snow drifts or icy roads and white out conditions. I would drive slowly, praying all the way, being grateful upon arriving home.

Things never really turn out the way we plan them or imagine them in our head. I'm sure that eventually that Winter scene will play out accordingly. Most likely at a time when I least expect it years down the road. It always amazes me how we romanticize situations to make them more appealing in our mind. To cope with? Perhaps.

You may wonder why I'm writing about Winter in August? Well, it may surprise many people to know I actually like Winter. I look forward to it and the slow tempo of life. Winter is usually spent indoors, reading books and crocheting under a warm, comfy blanket. After spending an active Summer and Autumn, I find it relaxing to be still. It feels almost like a resting period before the activities pick up once again. 

So here we are in August, one of my more busier months and I'm  reminiscing about stillness. No matter how much we may enjoy work, we all love a good rest now and then. I guess that's what Winter is to me.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Continuing On

 

                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

No star is ever lost we once have seen,

We always may be what we might have been.
Since Good, though only thought, has life and breath,
God's life--can always be redeemed from death;
And evil, in its nature, is decay,
And any hour can blot it all away;
The hopes that lost in some far distance seem,
May be the truer life, and this the dream.
A. A. PROCTER

August, so far, has been extremely busy. As crazy as it may have been, I THRIVE and come alive in the busyness of it all. I love seeing my calendar filling up, but only with the things I love to do. This thing work, well, it interferes with my life. 

When the year began, I told myself I would live out my day as fully as possible. We have spent all of 2020 living in fear, isolation and for us essential workers. . .. overworking. Don't get me wrong. I know myself and I am the first person to raise my hand when there is a need whether that involves work or not. I do that for two reasons: One, I feel there is an opportunity for me to make extra money for the future. Two, my spiritual gift is giving and my hand goes up automatically when there is that need.

My goal for this year meant letting go of 2020 and facing this year wholeheartedly. I filled up that calendar on purpose. I went back into the world. We are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to live in fear. We need rest, all of us. When I see that we could be reverting back to where we were a year ago, I find it disheartening. We cannot go on as before, something has to be done. 

So I have decided to embrace living my life to the fullest and that means getting back full time into the Ministry. Crocheting has always been very therapeutic for me in my recovery, especially in mental health. Last year, I found that many charitable organizations shutdown due to covid19. Very disheartening since I totally believe social services need to be open during difficult times. Even then, I still continued to make and donate items to those that accepted them. Now, I want to go full throttle and continue my Ministry attempting to reach even more than before.

The important thing here is that I am ready, more ready than ever before. Since all of my medical tests have been over, with great results, I have charged out of the gate at full gallop. Bring on the yarn, the crocheting hook and let's continue the work God has commanded of me. So am I busy? Oh, yeah! I'm also loving every single moment.

Find what you are good at and use that gift to bless others. So fulfilling and so satisfying. So get out there!

Have a blessed ay everyone. 

So What's Up?

 

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey,

Time was, I shrank from what was right,

From fear of what was wrong;
I would not brave the sacred fight,
Because the foe was strong.
But now I cast that finer sense
And sorer shame aside;
Such dread of sin was indolence,
Such aim at heaven was pride.
J. H. NEWMAN.

Have you ever experienced a blah kind of day where you could not explain your feelings behind it? You just couldn't explain why you were feeling a dread or a black cloud over you. It followed you throughout your day. It stayed there in the crevice of your brain peeking out occasionally. 

So, what's up?

You are typically a mild mannered person who avoids drama or confrontations, but yet, that feeling is there. Lurking. You have no issues with anyone. You place a smile on your face no matter how you are feeling inside. You literally try your best to have a good day.

So, what's up?

Sometimes, I think my body has gone through so much in the last 14 years that the smallest hint of any kind of stress sets me off out of sync. I don't want to face stuff nor deal with stuff. I just want to be. I want my universe to be balanced beautifully. 

So, what's up?

I think we know what is bothering us, the real truth, even if we don't want to admit it. We know. You know. That thing hanging over your head pushing you down at every opportunity. You know what it is, so why not admit it?

So, what's up?

It's okay to say it out loud. Your scared. As old as you may be, you still can feel fear. Being scared doesn't go away, because you're older now. We are human after all and we experience all emotions always.

So now that you know what's up you can relax just a bit. Relax. Take a deep breath. It will be okay. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Life Full Of Surprises

 

                      Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

What Thou shalt to-day provide,

    Let me as a child receive;
  What to-morrow may betide,
    Calmly to Thy wisdom leave.
  'Tis enough that Thou wilt care;
    Why should I the burden bear?
J. NEWTON.

There are days where one cannot stop from reflecting on this life of ours. Where we have been and where we ended up. The roads we have travelled and with whom. The pain, the joy, the tears, the heartache and the anger. 

We go back within our minds to that time and experience it all over again.

One thing I have learned is that I can control the emotions I feel when that reflective mood takes hold of me. We can spend many pleasant hours reminiscing all the wonderful memories of our life. Not all were pleasant, though. Those kind of memories can place a dark cloud over us that can last days and even weeks. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, we need to flip these negative feelings so they can work for us and not against us. I have spent way too many precious hours full of regrets, but no more. I choose to think of my life as a life lived full of surprises. Yes, some where good and some not, but one thing for sure, it was never dull.

We spend so much time in regret, especially when we become older. We think of all the could haves, should haves and would haves. They don't mean anything now. We need to refuse to live in that past. We were  forgiven by our Lord and Savior, so why do we have such a huge problem forgiving ourselves? And letting go?

No more. When I look back, I am choosing the how.  I will think of my life as full of surprises. I did the best I could at the situations that were presented to me. I made mistakes, some bigger than others, but all of that has made me into who I am today. God's grace and mercy were shown to me. I think it's time for me to forgive myself and let go. 

Forest Gump was right. Life is like a box of chocolate, one never knows what your gonna get. 

Have a blessed day everyone.